Got Wrinkles? Yeah. Shut the Front Door!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Aging, Beauty, Body Image/Dieting, Brands, Women | Posted on 02-02-2012

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So, I go to the Lancome make-up counter during my lunch break to buy some new eyeshadow.

The make-up girl was unhelpful and a little rude. She boldly suggests that I try the intense anti-wrinkle serum…for extreme wrinkles. Extreme wrinkles?! “Maybe you should try the intense anti-wrinkle serum,” she suggests.

Dude! I know I’ve got some wrinkles around the eyes. Don’t you think I see them every day? Dude! I have big cheeks that go up when I smile and laugh. Too much LOLing, I guess.

I don’t need an orangey-tanned make-up sales tot reminding me. Uh, maybe you should try a college education?

I am reminded of the classic scene in Fried Green Tomatoes when Kathy Bates gets “Towanda” power and bashes into the young woman’s car in the parking lot, exclaiming “I’m older and I have more insurance.” Ugh. Have I turned into Kathy Bates?

Maybe next time, I’ll just visit my gesties (gay besties) at the MAC make-up counter. At least they don’t say mean things to my wrinkled face.

You Know You’re Getting Older When…

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Aging, Beauty, Body Image/Dieting, Health, Personal Care | Posted on 06-11-2011

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Ugh. You know you’re getting older when…

  • You’re getting wrinkles instead of pimples
  • You buy fish oil supplements these days and stay away from Doritos
  • Crunk has replaced the Moonwalk. But you never really did the Moonwalk, did you? My feet aren’t that limber or coordinated. I know about Crunk because I know things. Oh, and I play Dance Central on Kinect with the kids.
  • You slather on the SPF 45+ instead of the baby oil

Here are a few other things you just might be buying these days:

  • anti-aging cream
  • orthotics
  • fish oil
  • flax seed
  • antioxidants
  • Sensodyne toothpaste
  • Spanx
  • magnification mirror. Because with a regular mirror, you just can’t see those pesky hairs growing out of your chin, now can you? I said your chin, not mine.
  • comfortable shoes
  • new “smaller” panties (my friend @Heatherellaa and I call these knickers now). Well, ya don’t want to wear MOM jeans. So you buy all these new, low-waisted jeans but you can’t exactly wear big knickers that show above the waistline, now can you?

Whatever you’re buying, just be sure to throw some Popsicles and Goldfish crackers into your shopping cart once in awhile. It’s a good thing children keep us young, eh?

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