peskypippi.comBecause I have a lot to say…

You’ve heard of the glass half full. But have you heard of the bucket half full? As in the vomit bucket?

The other day, I woke up sick. Sick, sick, sickety sick. Several trips to the bathroom. Enough said. I thought to myself, “I’ll call in sick to work and have the day to myself to sleep off the sickness.”

Not so fast.

Time to wake up my oldest son. “Uhhhh, Mooooom, I feeeeeel siiiiiick.” “Take a shower,” my husband suggested to see if he feels better. Five minutes later. Nope. Still stick. He’s staying home from school.

My daughter, who vomited the night before, woke up still sick. She’s staying home.

My youngest son walks like a zombie out from the toilet. “Mooooom, I have diarrhea.” OK. He’s staying home.

My husband heads bolts out of the door, heading off to work. Unscathed from the sick wrath.

To recap. One sick Mom. Three sick children. All at home. With the stomach flu.

Doomsday?

Actually no. Despite multiple visits to the toilet, it was actually a day when all four of us stretched out on the sofa. Lying feet to feet. Comatose. We watched Lady and The Tramp. We dozed. We watched Bee Movie. We ate chicken noodle soup. We watched The Sword and The Stone. I dozed. We drank Sprite. We lazed around all day together. We were pathetic together.

Will we look back on this sick day as being awful? No way. The togetherness was healing.

This bucket was…half full.

Ophidiophobia = the fear of snakes. Yeah, I got that.

If my kids ever ask me, “Mom, can I get a pet snake?”

“Hell, no.”

Snakes at museums? I can handle that. Because there are padlocks on the lids. But snakes on the loose? Indiana Jones and I. We both hate snakes.

So, the movie selection with my newly-minted-13-year-old son? Snakes on a Plane. OMG.

• A snake peeping out of the overhead storage bin? Hell no.
• A snake striking out of the toilet? Hell no.
• A snake slithering up your leg when you have nodded off? Hell no.
• A snake sneaking into your purse and then–surprise–you find it while rummaging around for some gum. Hell no.
• A snake attacking the co-pilot? Hell no.

But I wanted to be cool Mom. So we watched, side by side, as the snakes peeped and struck and slithered and snuck and attacked.

Here’s a teensy little clip that made us bust up laughing (don’t proceed if you don’t like swearing…me? #sailormouth):

You and me both, SLJ, you and me both.