It’s Soup Time, Bitches!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Food, Humor, Ideas, Recipes | Posted on 27-01-2017

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Give me your tired, your shriveled,
Your limp veggies yearning to breathe free,
The limp carrots from your teeming fridge.
Send these, the throw-aways, toss them over to me:
I lift my ladle from beside the golden soup.

Do you have soon-to-perish vegetables lingering in your fridge? Give those vegetables a purpose. Let them be soup!

Soup is easy. Soup is healthy. Soup is comforting. Soup is my friend.

This is what I do. I boil the carcass of a roasted chicken or a turkey in water. Remove the bones and whatnot. Add kosher salt and garlic and sometimes crushed red pepper, and bam, you have broth. (I have never written the word carcass. Now I’ve written it twice.)

Add any vegetables you want. Lately, I’ve been using cauliflower, purple onions, yellow peppers, celery, fresh cilantro, fresh spinach, and carrots. Chop away!

I try to use fresh produce, but sometimes, the carrots are kinda floppy. So, I give them a chance to participate.

Add the vegetables to the chicken broth. Boil, stir, then simmer.

And, bam, it’s soup time, bitches!

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Sweet Tea

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor | Posted on 08-08-2014

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Ah. Midwestern folks and their sweet, charming ways. And their sweet tea.

While dining out at a restaurant–smack in the middle of Branson, Missouri–that boasted a ginormous rooster out front, we encountered a waiter that oozed charm.

Ma’am, would you like something to drink? Sweet tea? Pepsi?

I’ll have iced tea. But unsweetened, please.

Sure thing, Ma’am. Is it because you’re sweet enough already?

How did he know?! What a sweetie, that waiter was. Sweet tea, sweetie…see what I did there? 🙂

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"Sun tea" for impatient people.

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Cauliflower Pizza That Doesn’t Suck

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Health, Recipes | Posted on 21-03-2014

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If cauliflower is the new kale, then this pizza is the new yummy.

I can’t promise that your kids will eat this. I mean, have you smelled cauliflower cooking? The smell is enough to quit cooking altogether and call for pizza delivery.

But if you can brave the stench and can stand crust that’s a little soggy, then this is the pizza for you.

Like how I sold it so well? Hahaha! This pizza is cauliflowericious! And packed with fiber! Did you know that cauliflower is. One. Of. The. World’s Healthiest. Foods. Read here if you need nutrition details to sell you.

Ingredients for Crust

  • Head of cauliflower
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • garlic to taste
  • salt to taste
  • 2 packs of dried crushed red peppers (you know the packets you get from–ironically–pizza places?)
  • pesto sauce or tomato sauce
  • mozzarella cheese
  • fresh parmesan cheese
  • toppings (I used chopped green onions and sliced tomatoes)
Directions

  1. Chop and grate the cauliflower until it’s “flour like” (I used my Cuisinart to grate the crap out of it)
  2. Mix in the egg and spices
  3. Microwave for 6 minutes. That’s when you’ll smell the stench.
  4. Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees.
  5. Put in a salad spinner if you have one. And spin the crap out of it. This gets a lot of the excess water out. Cauliflowers are juicy suckers!
  6. Grease a pizza stone or baking sheet with olive oil and parchment paper.
  7. Flatten the crust and bake at 425 degrees for at least 15 minutes.
  8. Top the crust with the sauce of your choice, cheese, and toppings.
  9. Bake about 15 minutes.

Enjoy! You are officially caulifloweramazing!

Best pizza-with-cauliflower-crust ever!

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Fiberlicious

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Children, Family, Nutrition, Recipes | Posted on 08-01-2014

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Trying to reduce your sugar intake? Trying to be gluten free? Need something to satisfy your cookie cravings?

Here’s an excellent pretty good decent recipe that meets the above criteria. Plus, they look like poop turds (and kinda taste like them), which will wow the children!

  • 1/2 cup butter or vegetable shortening (I used Smart Balance)
  • 1/2 cup date goo (I chopped up dates and simmered them with 1/4 cup water to make a “paste”)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1 cup ground oat flour (yeah, I made my own. Just call me Pioneer Pippi.)
  • 1 cup rolled oats
  • 1 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 cup chocolate chips (or if you’re anti-sugar, put in some dried cranberries or raisins)

Cream butter and date paste. Add eggs. Mix together the remaining dry ingredients, then stir them into the creamed mixture. Plop and bake on a parchment-lined cookie sheet at 350 degrees F about 10 minutes.

Eat too many and you’ll be running to the bathroom. Because they are #fiberlicious!

P.S. You can swap out any kind of flour and oil. I am experimenting with almond flour and coconut oil. What the heck?

Fiberlicious!

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The Cookie

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Childrearing, Children, Cookies, Kitchen, Memories, Parenting, Pinterest, Recipes | Posted on 06-02-2013

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Chocolate-chip cookies…again?

No way!

Do you want to be the coolest Mom ever? How about making one giant cookie…with giant impact. What ’til your kids see this! They will be stunned and awed, just like in Uncle Buck. Remember the giant pancake?

Click here for my best chocolate-chip-cookies-on-Earth recipe.

So, instead of plopping the dough as you would for individual cookies, make one giant plop onto a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet and smash down and smooth out with a spatula. Bake at 350 degrees about 12 minutes and keep an eye on it. Take it out just before you think it’s done (the one in the pic is a little overcooked…my bad…I was on Twitter).

Once cooled, you can frost it to make a smiley face, as in my birthday “cake” last year. Click here to see that beauty. Or you can cut into a heart. Brilliant…just in time for Valentine’s Day!

C is for Cookie. Or for “Crap, I just ate too much damn cookie.”

cookie

Peanut Butter Cookies Like Grandma Used to Make

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cookies, Cooking, Grandmother, Ideas, Memories, Recipes | Posted on 07-09-2012

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This peanut butter cookie recipe is my grandmother’s. I have her recipe card–stained with butter–written in her curly script. She made these cookies in the Great Depression. So not only are these suckers tasty, they are best served with a glass of American history.

Peanut Butter Cookies

  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup melted butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda

Combine butter, peanut butter, sugars, eggs.  Add in baking soda, Then flour. Mix dough. Roll into balls and place onto parchment paper-line cookie trays. Flatten criss-cross with a fork (can dip fork into water so it doesn’t stick). Bake about 8-10 minutes in a 375 degree oven. I take them out a little early for chewy cookies.

Then I proceed to eat about seven. These Great Depression cookies are perfect for the anti-dieters. 🙂

Placenta. It’s what’s for dinner.

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Birth, Food, Recipes | Posted on 30-03-2012

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By now you’ve heard that January Jones of Mad Men fame has been eating her placenta (she gave birth to her baby and the infamous placenta last fall).

I couldn’t resist Googling placenta recipes. I was curious if you add it to stir-fry, bake it, freeze it, or add it to chocolate-chip cookies.

You might be surprised at how many recipes there are. Let’s see, I found roast placenta, placenta cocktail, placenta lasagna, placenta spaghetti Bolognese.

It seems like the most popular way is to dehydrate your placenta (think beef jerky). Turns out that the placenta is packed with vitamins and some believe that the placenta can be used to help in the early stages of postpartum depression.

Placenta. It’s what’s for dinner.

Leprechaun Balls…Yum!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Childrearing, Children, Cooking, Family, Food, Fun, Humor, Ideas, Memories, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 16-03-2012

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On the eve of St. Patrick’s Day, I dragged out my Cake Pop machine because I needed to redeem myself after my #CakePopFail. You see, awhile back I wrote about Cake Pops Gone Wrong.

In three easy steps, you too can make Leprechaun Balls. And just watch the faces light up!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Pippi’s Peppy Popeye Smoothies

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Body Image/Dieting, Breakfast, Childrearing, Children, Cooking, Family, Food, Mothering, Personal Care, Recipes, Women | Posted on 11-01-2012

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Is that spinach in your smoothie, or are you happy to see me?

I wrote about the ease and nutrition of protein breakfast smoothies awhile back. Check that here. My newest ingredient? Spinach. Yeah, you heard me. They are officially renamed to Pippi’s Peppy Popeye Smoothies. These nutrition-packed suckers are perfect for when I am running late. Getting the kids out the door for school. And oops, I forgot one of my earrings. And my navy tights don’t match my black outfit. And where is my phone and where are my keys? Time to go. NOW.

But wait! Don’t forget to eat your salad for breakfast! (Seriously, you can’t even taste it. It just looks a teensy bit gaggy.) You, too, can buzz up the smoothie while yelling “Hurry! Time to go! Finish your breakfast! Brush your teeth! Shoes on! Jackets! Backpacks!”

Just talk to my friend Sara, who also sneaks in vegetables. She’s on Twitter @Sar_Wah and her blog is http://www.tisthelife.com/. She’s a super healthy Mum who tries to eat right and have a fulfilling life. Go Sara!

Pippi’s Peppy Popeye Smoothies

  • a blender
  • a cup or so of nonfat milk
  • a banana
  • big scoop or 2 Tbs. protein powder (preferably plain)
  • handful of frozen blueberries
  • two ginormous handfuls of washed, fresh spinach

Check out the jumbo bag of spinach. I don’t know whether to eat it. Or sleep on it.

Breakfast is important. Partake! And maybe, with the added spinach, you can kick some ass today.

Cake Pops Gone Wrong

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Children, Cooking, Family, Food, Fun, Humor, Ideas, Kitchen, Mothering, Parenting, Recipes | Posted on 04-01-2012

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Got balls? Sagging cake balls?

I received a handy-dandy cake pop maker for Christmas. Here’s how it works:

  1. Plop in some cake batter.
  2. Close the lid.
  3. Wait 7 minutes.
  4. Presto. Your cake balls (cake pops) are ready.
  5. Time to frost and decorate. Just like Martha would.
  6. Stick a stick in them and serve. Or gift them to your neighbors. With pride.

They are supposed to look like these:

But mine turned out like this. My neighbors sure are lucky!