Oh, Martha.
Every year, I watch your Halloween specials where you create bats from black spray-painted clothespins, googly eyeballs from painted foam balls, spirited papier-mâché pumpkins, and stenciled votive candles. Your creations are magical.
Last Fall, we watched in awe at your creations. And the creative juices started to flow. We trekked to Michaels to load up on supplies.
- Wooden clothespins
- Foam balls
- Tissue paper
- Votive candle holders
- Paint
- Pipe cleaners
- Craft glue
And a bunch of other crap that totaled $75.
We got home excited. Excited to create the wonders that you created, with such ease.
Fail.
- Spray painting outside in the wind is a bitch.
- Where exactly do you PUT wet foam balls after you’ve painted them, so they can dry?
- Doing papier-mâché in a wet climate means that your pumpkins will get yeast infections.
I opened up our Halloween bins from the attic and discovered last year’s unfinished craft projects. Three dozen black clothespins with no bat bodies, a pack of two dozen votive candles with no stencils, and half-painted eyeballs.
This collection of craft failures was a reminder that:
I suck at crafting.
There will be no pinning of my Martha-esque creations on Pinterest this year. Sigh.
But I staple-gunned eyeball lights across the front of the house. Stuck ghosts in the flower pots. Hung store-bought skeletons from the trees. Draped fake spider webs across the doorway. And displayed our 93 lbs. of pumpkins from the pumpkin patch.
My crafting abilities may suck, but my Halloween spirit?
It’s a good thing.
Got road trips?
Here’s a nifty little idea for you non-crafter parents that you can create in, oh, about 8 minutes. You may call it a jar of rice with toys in it. I call it Pippi’s Traveling Treasure Trove that you shake and take with you in the car to entertain the kids.
What prompted this was:
- My kids have an overload of miniature toys they don’t play with because the toys are hiding at the bottom of toy bins
- My kids need something to do in our long (10 minute) car trips.
- Reuse and recycle, baby!
Here’s all you need:
- A big plastic container with a lid. Ours was a tub with peanut butter-filled pretzels.
- A crapload of miniature toys.
- A 5 lb. bag of rice.
- Mix together.
- Screw lid on tightly.
- Presto! Now you can bring Pippi’s Traveling Treasure Trove virtually anywhere! And your kids can shake it and search for all the hidden treasures. What’s old is new again. And maybe you’ll have some quiet while driving.
And just think. When you’re done with this clever toy, you’ll have rice for dinner.
On the eve of St. Patrick’s Day, I dragged out my Cake Pop machine because I needed to redeem myself after my #CakePopFail. You see, awhile back I wrote about Cake Pops Gone Wrong.
In three easy steps, you too can make Leprechaun Balls. And just watch the faces light up!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
I thought I would be writing about how my daughter and I are Dumb and Dumber when it comes to sewing.
Our sewing journey began with my nine-year-old daughter receiving a sewing machine for Christmas. We set it up on the dining room table and there it sat. Staring at me.
Daunting.
Then, one day I sat with my daughter to get it going. I had high hopes we would make an amazing creation. That day. Wrong. It took two hours just to learn to thread the damn thing. Reading and following how-to manuals is not my strength.
Frustrating.
The sewing machine sat on the dining room table for another week.
Avoiding.
Then we sat down ready to take on a sewing project. After 120 minutes, we created a bag. Hey, we’re getting the hang of it!
Then the next week, we sat down together. And made our version of an Ugly Doll.
We are not the Dumb and Dumber of Sewing after all. I am just impatient and was expecting to make a prom dress my first try. But after trying and screwing up and laughing and being creative, we are no longer Dumb and Dumber. We are Proud and Prouder.
