peskypippi.comBecause I have a lot to say…

“Can You Fit Into the Booth?”…and other funky questions they ask you at restaurants.

Today, I lunched with my friends after soccer (soccer as in football for my global friends). Yeah, we are a bunch of jocks. Hungry jocks.

In we walked into this Thai restaurant. The five of us were sweaty and a little crazy. Giddy from scoring so many goals, ya know? The restaurant was totally empty and we could basically sit anywhere. We eyed the booth. The hostess/waitress had other plans for us: the dreaded table out in the open by the kitchen.

“Nah,” I said, “We’d like the booth please.”

She goes, “Can you fit into the booth?” Say what??

We’re like, “Yeah we can fit.” And to ourselves, we’re like: we  just worked out; if we’re too big for a booth, maybe we should order a salad. With the dressing on the side. Gotta watch those carbs. Seriously? Way to sell us a three-course meal by insinuating that we are too large.

But it was probably just a case in lost in translation. Because she suggested drinks (yes!) and appetizers (no way!)

Oh, and by the way, booths are my all-time favorite places to sit. Love the vinyl bench seat. Love cozying up to my buddies—my  sweaty, stinky buddies.

Here are other questions that bug me at restaurants:

1. “So, will it just be the two of you?” Uh, yeah. Ya got a problem with that? The other day, my husband and I took our son out for lunch and the hostess asked exactly that. “So, just the three of you.” Why yes, isn’t three good enough for you?  And what if you went out solo? Hostesses, bet ya didn’t know you needed to be more aware of your line of questioning, did ya?
2. “Is everything tasting OK?” And you think, yeah, it tastes OK. Not great, not the best ever. But OK.
3. “Can I take your plate or are you still working on that?” when there’s like ratty old carrot left. And the fork is resting on the plate. Gee, no, I’m going to pick up the plate and lick it. You know how you should respond?

“Can you please box up the rest?”

If I keep eating like that, I just might be able to fit into the booth the next time…

Are you guilty of uttering, “Sorry, I’ve been soooo busy” as your excuse for not calling or making a plan with a friend or getting the kids together for a play date? And then you ramble on about your to do list and all the crap you have had to do?

Not guilty of that? Well, goody for you.

Most of us are soooo busy. And many of us have uttered those words. Lame excuse. (Note: Friends who say they are too busy might really be just-not-that-into-you.)

I think it would be better to say, “Hey there! It’s great to hear your voice. I’ve missed you.” And leave it at that. No excuses. No ramblings. No lists.

But “busy” is just life in the fast lane for Mothers who juggle. Or Mothers who jiggle. Or Mothers who juggle and jiggle.

It’s about prioritizing what’s important in your day. We each have 1,440 minutes in a day. Make every minute count. Usually a good portion is used working or child rearing–or trying to do both. Then you squeeze in food shopping, food preparation, and cooking. For me that only takes five minutes because we like grilled cheese sandwiches around here–or “cheese on toast,” I’m told they are called outside of the United States.

Then, there’s shuttling kids to their activities. Shuttling yourself to your activities and your commitments. Don’t forget exercising. And personal hygiene and grooming (see related post on tweezing).

Oh, and housework. But, that generally drops down lower on my priority list.

So why are the all-important connections–we women need to make–also dropping down lower on the priority list? Down low, along with the scrubbing of toilets.

Pee in the toilets happen. Every day. But don’t piss away friendships. Because, without proper tending, friendships just might get flushed down the toilet.

Does this outfit/dress/blouse/sweater/pair of jeans/jacket make me look fat?

Chances are. Yes. We know when we look in the mirror if we are feeling confident with our looks and our choices in outfits. So why do we waste our time asking our husbands/boyfriends/partners if we look fat or not.

If your buttons are gaping; your sleeves dig into your arms; your muffin top runneth over; or you’re just not skinny enough for skinny jeans, then don’t even ask.

Do we really need men to validate our looks and reassure us (even with a fake), “Nah, Sweetie, you look GREAT.” Yeah, kinda.

Here are six more questions that should just be left unasked:

1. Do I have more wrinkles than last year?
2. Do you like my hair better short or long?
3. Where do you want to go for dinner?
4. Do you think the banana bread was dry?
5. How do you like the new outfit I just bought?
6. I bought a new lamp. Do you like it?

Why bring attention to inferior beauty problems? Why focus on the negatives? Why call attention to the extra money spent?

Instead, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. And answer your own questions:

1. Put on the wrinkle cream in private.
2. Wear that new hairstyle with sass—whether short or long.
3. Pick a restaurant that serves beer on draught; he’ll be happy.
4. If you think the banana bread is dry, smear a little butter on it and maybe some peach jam and serve it with a smile. And a glass of water.
5. Wear the new outfit with confidence and save the “outfit talk” for your girlfriends.
6. Give the old lamp to Goodwill. Without a word. He may not even notice.

Some of this “talky talk” is better saved for girlfriends. Or not. Sometimes you may not really want to know what they really think either.

In the past two days, I have been fortunate to meet up with two very good friends. And there were no kids in tow, imagine that.

One was over beer and appetizers yesterday after work. I like to say “apps” because, well, that sounds so much cooler. I have to admit, it’s been a long time since I went to happy hour with a girlfriend. I liked it and want to go again. Soon.

The second was a nice lunch today. In the middle of a busy work day. I took time out to meet up with a good friend I knew in high school. We lost touch and Facebook helped us reconnect again. Lots of good conversations, laughs, and silliness.

I do love Facebook for connecting with friends. You have little one-liner conversations with lots of different friends. But it’s sporadic. And Twitter is growing on me. It’s even crazier than Facebook. You’re Tweeting with people you don’t even know, but kinda want to get to know. Phone calls with friends rarely happen. I’m on the phone a lot for work. And evenings are pretty much shot. But if you do call me, call me after 10:00 p.m. and don’t be pissed if I fold laundry while I talk with you.

But it’s the face-to-face connections with friends that are so wonderful. And for me, these connections happen so infrequently. I’m always encouraging the kids to make new friends, have friends over, etc. But I need to listen to myself. It’s not “finding the time,” because who the hell has any extra time? It’s prioritizing what is important. I am now reprioritizing and reaching out to friends, in order to connect and reconnect in a more meaningful way.

Because that, my friend, is what life is all about.