That Brown Vest

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Adolescence, Advice, Attitude, Childrearing, Cleaning, Clothes, Communication, Confidence, Connections, Conversations, Daughters, Encouragement, Memories, Mother, Motherhood, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 27-03-2017

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Every few years I get the urge to go through my closet and get rid of stuff. You can read about the last time I made such a purge here. Here is how I decreased the surplus population of my clothes. My goal is always to get rid of:

1. The ugly stuff.
2. The stuff that will never ever fit again.
3. The stuff that makes me feel uncomfortable, unconfident, and ugly.

I have had surprisingly a lot of stuff in each of these categories.

I filled three giant trash bags with jeans that are too tight, ruffled blouses that are hideous, pleated slacks that look shiny, and that sort of thing. All kinds of ugly.

I proudly announced to my daughter my feat: I got rid of all my ugly clothes!

What about that brown vest? She asked.

That. Brown. Vest?

Oh that. I guess I didn’t get rid of ALL my ugly clothes. That brown vest might be ugly, but it makes me happy, warm, and comfortable. In fact, I wore it on my last zoo outing with my youngest.

I think you look pretty in that ugly, brown vest, she said.

Well then, it’s a keeper!

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#BigCabbage

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Connections, Happiness, Humor, Little Story | Posted on 19-12-2016

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What weighs 30 lbs., is comical, crunchy, and has its own hashtag?

#Bigcabbage.

We bought a big cabbage at the produce market for $5. Locally grown, it was a giant cabbage so big that it could be used for cross-training.

But first, we photographed it and posted its glorious girth on Instagram. Who knew that this cabbage of mine would make so many friends? Who knew that #bigcabbage could bring the world together, sharing smiles and gasps, one post at a time. I “liked” all the posts with #bigcabbage and met friends from around the world, including Japan and Kentucky, who shared the love of extraordinary produce.

My daughter carved a face in the cabbage. (She is really good with knives. You can read that post here.) It proved a wonderful, carvable canvas. We then enjoyed that head over the course of ten weeks. Did you know that the cabbage is one of the healthiest foods you can eat? A cruciferous vegetable packed with nutrients. Don’t take my word for it. Read more here.

Nutritious. Crunchy. Economical. Versatile. Funny.

There is nothing like bringing people together one cabbage at a time. #bigcabbage

Happy Monday! #bigcabbage

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The Ferret

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor | Posted on 07-06-2016

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What is 20 inches long, domesticated, brown, and weighs about 1.5-4 lbs.?

A ferret? Yes!

The clump of hair from the shower drain I unclogged? Yes!

Writing about hair clumps in the shower drain has become “a thing.” I have written about hair clumps twice before. Once, I wrote a poem about the new pet (ha!) that was the size of a hamster. Then, I wrote about an even bigger clump I named Hairy.

Guess it’s been eight months since I last cleaned out the drain, because this time, the hair clump was the length of a ferret. From its head to its tail. Ew!

Fortunately, we come from a strong lineage of thick and ever-abundant hair. Stay tuned for the drain reveal at Christmas! Pass the shampoo…

3 generations! ??????

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Sweet Pea

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Fun, Humor, Love, Mother, Mothering, Mothers and Sons | Posted on 10-02-2016

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He’s my sweet pea. He’s the apple of my eye. Both of them. Literally!

I love my son. I love this song. And I love gift cards to Amazon…where you can buy practically anything. Check out his latest purchase!

His newest purchase. Excellent!

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“Sweet Pea”

Sweet pea
Apple of my eye
Don’t know when and I don’t know why
You’re the only reason I keep on coming home

Sweet pea
What’s all of this about?
Don’t get your way all you do is fuss and pout
You’re the only reason I keep on coming home

I’m like the Rock of Gibraltar
I always seem to falter
And the words just get in the way
Oh I know I’m gonna crumble
And I’m trying to stay humble
But I never think before I say

Sweet pea
Keeper of my soul
I know sometimes I’m out of control
You’re the only reason I keep on coming
You’re the only reason I keep on coming yeah
You’re the only reason I keep on coming home

The Strip Club

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor | Posted on 07-12-2015

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I have always wanted to go to a strip club. It’s taken decades, but one night I finally went for it!

My friend and I were awkward, but giddy. We barely made it through the doorway without laughing. We bought drinks and sat down, looking uncomfortable but eager.

The music started pumping. So did the pelvises. Pelvises were thrusting in our faces. We started cracking up and could not stop. The guys’ shirts came off. Butts were gyrating in our faces. The laughter continued.

When one of the guys posed with us for pictures, I patted him on the shoulder and said in a motherly-I’m-proud-of-you voice, “You did such a great job!”

He beamed and seemed to appreciate that more that the dollar bills he had collected that night.

Letting loose and being silly with a friend, laughing our heads off, tucking dollars into underwear, making new “friends.” It was a night of letting it all hang out. Literally.

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Who Cut the Cheese?

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Children, Food | Posted on 19-08-2015

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We love cheese. Cheese of all colors and shapes and flavors.

We were in the deli section at Whole Foods and my ten-year-old son wanted to buy a wedge of cheese. It was brie. Not just any brie. Imported and extra ripe brie. It was $7.

Please can we buy it? I’ll pay you back.

How can you say no to a boy wanting to try new things? Especially cheese that’s not cheddar or jack?

When we got home, we couldn’t wait to undo the cellophane and partake. One little peek and whoa! The smell. The stink. The stench. It permeated instantly throughout the kitchen. You could see the stink as it rose from the innocent, triangular wedge.

Did we dare indulge? We had to.

That afternoon, we indeed ate the stinkiest cheese in all the land. Totally worth the $7 for bragging rights.

Shopping. With. Boys.

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Welcome to the Jungle

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Adolescence, Boys, Mothering, Mothers and Sons | Posted on 13-10-2014

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The other evening, I had the pleasure of driving in cars with boys. My boys, ages nine and 15.

They are forever making me smile and cringe and giggle and eyeroll.

“Your Mama” jokes, post-football stink, the always-hungry Mom, can we stop at Burger King?, funny comments about body parts, requests for rides (to purchase new Halloween masks, for example). And always very loud music.

When Welcome to the Jungle started playing, my oldest turned it up to 30. I reached over and cranked it up to 35.

I am (usually) not one of those turn-the-music-down-mothers. And because I try to let the boys be boys. I have learned this from living with several guys (three + Otis).

I later Googled the lyrics to the song. That evening, I learned something else. Sometimes it’s best not to Google. 🙂

My boys. Aren't they the sweetest? 😉

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The Bottle

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Family, Humor, Little Story, Mothers and Sons | Posted on 03-03-2014

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I don’t know what is funnier:

  1. My eight-year-old son peeing in a bottle.
  2. My fourteen-year-old getting so mad about it.
  3. My reaction to the whole thing.

My youngest son proudly told me that he had peed in a bottle and mixed it with “everything” he could find–shampoo, conditioner, liquid hand soap, shaving cream–to mix it all together for a science experiment.

“What did you do with it? Did you wash your hair with it?” I asked.

“No, it’s just sitting there in the bathroom. I’m waiting for it to explode. Is that what baking soda is for?”

Yikes. As I am envisioning exploding pee and bubbles.

Then, that evening, my oldest son witnessed the second experiment. And I hear this from upstairs.

“MOOOOOOOOOM! HE’S PEEING IN A BOTTLE!”

And I yell back, “YEAH, I KNOW! HE’S DOING A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT.”

In this family, we prioritize education. 🙂

Classic!

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Uranus is Our Favorite!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor, Love, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 27-02-2014

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Dear Uppity Parents, B-U-T-T is not a four-letter word. Well, it is, but not that kind.

See, I am not someone who says criss-cross applesauce.

Criss-cross…What the H-E Double Hockey Sticks??!

People! Butt is not a bad word. The word butt is short for buttocks, which is actually a scientific word. As in, “two rounded portions of the anatomy, located on the posterior of the pelvic region of apes and humans, and many other bipeds or quadrupeds, and comprise a layer of fat superimposed on the gluteus maximus.”

I use the word freely, as in:

“I’m gonna kick your butt!” upon starting a game of Chinese checkers.

“Get your butt down to dinner! I made meatloaf!”

“You’d better run your butt off in soccer today!”

Around here, butt is said in jest, for fun, for silliness, for emphasis! Always with lots of !!!!

I know other mothers who get all uppity, as in “yeah, we don’t say that word.” And give me that look. I mean, really??

Lighten up! Butts are fun! Butts are funny! Uranus is our favorite planet!

Fine. Whatever. I always say B-U-T-T with lots of L-O-V-E.

Are you checking out my bum?

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Check out a few videos my children made, to further prove the fact that Uranus is our favorite planet:

Running Errands with My Mom

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Family, Humor, Mother, Mothering | Posted on 05-07-2013

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Yo! Holler at your Moms!

Check out this funny video featured on The Incredible Crew, a show my kids introduced me to. After watching a handful of episodes, I think the show rivals SNL.

“You mad trippin’ Linda, your shoes don’t match your purse!”