peskypippi.comBecause I have a lot to say…

Yoga pants? What a misnomer. I mean, who really does YOGA in them?

I think they should be called Mom Pants. Ah, so stretchy. So comfy. So black.

And for the Holiday season? How about simply calling them: Pie Pants. Just in time for Thanksgiving, I have magically transformed my”yoga” pants into pie pants.

May you wear your pie pants with a smile on your face–and go for a second helping–and enjoy your family, friends, and food.

Happy Thanksgiving!

XO,

Pippi

P.S. And, oh by the way, if you actually wear yoga pants to DO yoga? I don’t want to hear about it.

My good friend invited me out to dinner with two of her friends that I didn’t know. A table for four, please.

I hesitated at first, because my Saturday nights are kinda sacred and are usually spent with my family, a movie, and a giant bowl of popcorn.

One of her friends was a delight. The other was a hater

I wasn’t prepared to spend my free time with a salad, hater on the side. I got flustered.

This one was skinny. Her hair in a sleek bob. Clad in a cashmere sweater, she pursed her lips as she looked me up and down with her x-ray vision.

I was 10 minutes late. I showed up in some dumb chunky sweater. My hair still wet from my shower. The three women were already buddied up in a booth. “A Blue Moon on tap, please,” I sang to the waiter, and squeezed in next to the cashmere-bob-pursed-lips one.

You know the awkward moment when the other women order appetizers as their dinners AFTER you order the Alaskan salmon and mashed potatoes and salad, with ranch dressing please. Yeah that.

My booth buddy (not) ordered an appetizer Caesar salad for her dinner. And couldn’t finish it. (When I told this to my real buddy Scott, @DiaperDads, he tweeted, “I just can’t get past fake-ass personas. Like we don’t know there’s a stop at Dunkin Donuts planned after eating salad.”)

Over dinner, I was explaining a project I was doing at work Miss Cashmere interrupted and sneered, “You WORK??!!”

As if working is a strange, new phenomenon.

“Uh, yeah, you DONT??!!” I wished I had retorted. I usually think of witty comments like two days after the fact.

“Another beer, please,” I nearly pleaded to the waiter.

The sauce on the salmon was delicious. And those mashed potatoes were perfectly buttered and garlicked. I envisioned licking the plate.

When the table got quiet, I felt the need to fill in the quiet with gab. So, I talked about my blog. My kids. My recent clothes purchases and returns. My latest recipe. My silly stories. I blathered. Did Miss Cashmere have any clever stories? No, but she sure seemed interested in putting my stories down.

When it was time to gather our coats and purses, my purse strap got tangled. I yanked it, flinging my purse to the floor, spilling its entire contents. Coins scattered and rolled every which way. Was this a metaphor of how I felt exposed?

Miss Cashmere was quick to smirk and eye roll.

I quickly collected my coins, wallet, receipts, gum, pens, bag of almonds, phone (and my dignity)–and shoved everything back. I smoothed out my chunky sweater over my full belly and gulped down the last of my beer. I stood up straight, smiled a fake smile, and uttered, “It was nice meeting you. Thanks for inviting me.”

I got the hell out of there, relieved to feel the Winter night air cool off my flushed cheeks. And I made it home in time to still score some late-night popcorn.

I’m linking up with other amazing people and bloggers. Click below to read their stuff!

Sometimes I think people don’t really wanna care what you have to say…take a few basic-conversation questions:

1. How was your vacation?
2. How is work going for you?
3. How are the kids?

Does the other person really want to know about your vacation? That you had potato skins as an appetizer, that your hotel comforter was comfy, and that you had perfect weather? No.

Does the other person really want to know about your work? That you’re working too many hours, that your deadlines are crazy, and your boss is cranky? No.

Does the other person really want to know about your kids? That one child had an eye infection, one got a B+ in science, and the other skipped to the next level in swimming? No.

I think people are so entrenched in their own lives that they don’t really want to hear much of anything care about the other person. What they really wanna hear is simply:

1. How was your vacation? Great!
2. How is work going for you? Busy!
3. How are the kids? Happy!

And…you’re done. No time for details. No interest in two-way conversations. Where did the empathy go? It’s now sometimes more like a check-off-your-list: did I ask and did they answer? Check.

I think some people have forgotten their manners. Forgotten how to converse. Forgotten how to listen. Forgotten to care.

“I’m getting a puppy!”

Instead of being a naysayer, how about being a yaysayer. Here’s what I mean…

When you tell people you’re getting a puppy, these are comments you might get:

• “YOU’RE getting a PUPPY?!”
• “Do you KNOW how much they pee and poop?”
• “They will eat EVERYTHING.”
• “Do you KNOW what you’re getting yourself into?”
• “Are you SURE you want a puppy?”
• “It will wreck your house.”
• “Better hide your shoes.”
• “It will turn your yard upside down.”
• “Ugh. Why do you WANT a puppy?”

Naysayers and Debbie Downers. All of them.

I mean, imagine if you tell someone you’re pregnant or adopting a baby. And imagine these SAME comments for a human child. You would probably drop these friends like a hot potato. And, oh, by the way, have you ever HELD a hot potato? They are freaking hot.

I think the snarly comments are made by people who may lack boundaries, who simply like to blurt out their opinions. Regardless of their impact.

Some people are well-meaning and try to be helpful. They like to point out things you may not already know. As in, “You may want to put your shoes up high because puppies like to chew on shoes.” Haven’t we all watched Marley and Me? We KNOW the damages puppies can cause (we also know the love puppies and grown dogs can offer).

And some people are reality-based. As in, “Puppies are a lot of work. You have to train them to pee outside by taking them out every 10 minutes.” Gee, thanks for the pee tip.

While other people are just mean-spirited and want to burst your happy puppy bubble. As in, “Are you SURE you want a puppy??” When you’ve already told them you’re GETTING a puppy. Of course you are sure. And you are excited. (Again replace the “puppy” reference with “baby” and the comment is even meaner.)

As a future puppy owner, aren’t we simply expecting people to say:

• “That’s awesome!”
• “I love puppies.”
• “Puppies are the best.”
• “Your family is gonna love a dog.”
• “Aw, so cute. I can’t wait to see a picture.”
• “Very cool.”
• “I want a puppy.”

The next time you hear someone exclaim, “I’m getting a puppy!” Maybe ya might want to hold in the meanness for a second, and high-five the person instead. And shriek, “COOL!” #yaysayer

I try to be a Sunny Delight Mom. And I try to have a Sunny Delight home. Where all kids are welcome. All of the time.

Cheesy? Yeah. Are you eye-rolling? So what.

What is a Sunny Delight Mom? You know, the kind of Mom who opens the doors and her arms to welcome her children’s friends after school? Who buys the right snacks that kids love? Who makes the home inviting to kids of all ages so they are happy and comfortable and want to come back? Where rarely a weekend goes by without hosting a sleepover?

Yeah that.

My Sunny Delight home is where my children and their friends come to congregate, to play, to hang out. They are always welcome. They are always loud. They are always eating. And they always come back.

And like the Sunny Delight commercial, you hear this:

• “Your Mom is cool,” says the friend.
• “Yeah, I know,” says your child.

You see, when I was growing up, I did not have a Sunny Delight Mom. I did not live in a Sunny Delight home. I lived with my mother. I was her only child. I had friends but they rarely came over. The house was quiet. Quiet was good for reading–I read lots–and for playing quiet, creative games. The doors did not slam shut. Shoes of all sizes, belonging to different people, were not tossed by the front door. The snacks were tofu and granola and tuna.

So when I became a mother of one, then two, then three children, I knew that I wanted to be a Sunny Delight Mom and have a Sunny Delight home. The more the merrier! Children–and their laughter and their happiness–make me smile.

Just like the cheesy Sunny Delight Mom in the commercial.

You like the high guessers.

You know when you buy something that’s a really good deal and you say to your friend, “Guess how much this shirt was?”

And you want your friend to say, “Hmm. $100?”

You say, “Less.”

She says, “$80?”

You say, “Less.”

Until finally, you break the wonderful news…you scored the shirt for $8!

See? High guessing reinforces what a smart shopper you are! And shows what a good friend you have for validating you.

So the other day, I tell my nine-year-daughter when she’s opening a can of fruit cocktail to be careful because those lids are sharp and you can cut yourself. I showed her the scar on my thumb from opening a can of beans. I told her that it bled for hours (indeed, it did….skin was flapping…I could feel my heartbeat in my thumb…yikes!)

She asks “How much blood did you lose? 30 percent?”

Ah, I LOVE this child. She’s a high guesser. SHE will do well in life being a good friend.

Whether you enjoy spray whipped cream on your hot chocolate, on your strawberries–or wherever (you can fill in the blank)–did you know that it is also a great pick-me-up?

When you’re feeling a little drained, just a quick shot straight into your mouth. And bam! It’s instant smiles. And only 20 calories.

The kids love it! And it’s what I use to keep them quiet, as in, “Quiet YOU. Here, have a spray.”

Hell, I love it!

And check out my Twitter friends, who love it! Each participated in Pippi’s Whipped Cream Dare, whereby they sprayed a shot of whipped cream into their mouth (this is G-rated), took a pic, and posted it on Twitter. THAT takes talent: spraying + taking a pic. These are some mighty talented Tweeps:

• @TheBernieBrand
• @fmll
• @heatherellaa
• @wendipqa
• @donovanshaw

Everyone’s doing it. It’s the latest global trend! Got #Twhipped Cream?

Do you ever hear people say, “Twitter?? I don’t have time for Twitter. How do YOU find time for Twitter?!” (And they say it all condescending like.)

What?!

You don’t HAVE time for Twitter? Or you don’t MAKE time for Twitter?

In our crazy-busy-complicated lives, we need connections. We need friends. I make time for Twitter because:

• I make friends all over the world. Literally. United States, Canada, Ireland, England, France, Malaysia, Australia.
• I connect with people with similar interests and have real conversations (short ones) about family life chaos, poop talk, motherhood juggling and jiggling, and stuff.
• I can be myself. Others don’t judge, but instead, offer support and give validation.
• I LOL every single day.

I have found that my Twitter friends say the nicest things. Check out some Tweets:

@samminicho: How is my favourite American lady this evening.  I adore your smile, it always brightens my day. XXX

@LulyShahabudin: I think ur a fantastic mom.

@TheBernieBrand: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…PIPPI IS A LEGEND!!!

@donovanshaw: #youmakemesmileeveryday

@thatgirl815 I think you’re just the greatest!!!

Gosh, with nice Tweeps like those, how can you go wrong?

So if you don’t have time for Twitter, well, it #suckstobeyou.

A friend told me the other day, “When I don’t have anything else to do, I read your blog.”

Gee, thanks.

So if you have nothing else to do, just mosey on over to the upper right-hand column of my blog and subscribe to peskypippi.com. Get a little bit of Pippi in your email. A few clicks and you’ll be subscribed. A little LOL or eye-roll or sigh, and maybe you won’t be so bored anymore.

My new slogan:

PeskyPippi.com…when you have nothing else to do.

Blogging and Twitter are global, y’all. And I’m meeting so many wonderfully awesome people.

This kicks off my new series of posts, whereby I “interview” my new friends from around the globe. Here’s hoping y’all will enjoy our light chatter and learn a little something new about somewhere else.

Meet Bernie. She’s from Queensland, Australia. Follow her on Twitter at @TheBernieBrand and check out her very-cool blog: http://theberniebrand.com/

Pippi: Do you have a koala for a pet?

Bernie: No way man!! Koalas are highly dangerous animals that kill thousands of people (mainly tourists) each year! They do like to eat eucalyptus leaves during the day, but at night, they turn carnivorous and will drop on people and attack…hence their true name, ‘Drop Bears’ – true story!

Pippi: Are there kangaroos hopping around your neighborhood?

Bernie: No silly!! But we did buy one for each of the kids last Christmas instead of buying them bikes. Now they just ride their kangaroos to school every morning!

[Here’s a photo of Miss 11 with her Kangaroo, Skippy!]

Pippi: What makes the Great Barrier Reef so great?

Bernie: Are you kidding me!? The G.B.R (let’s just abbreviate it, cause that’s how lazy I am) is one of the seven wonders of the natural world!! If you visit Australia, you totally have to go to Queensland (and I’m not just saying that cause I live there)! The G.B.R stretches over 3000 km or 1,800 miles almost parallel to the Queensland coast, from near the coastal town of Bundaberg, up past the tip of Cape York. If you do some diving, you’ll see amazing underwater attractions including the world’s largest collection of corals (in fact, more than 400 different kinds of coral), coral sponges, molluscs, rays, dolphins, over 1,500 species of tropical fish, around 20 types of reptiles including sea turtles and giant clams over 120 years old. The G.B.R has natural beauty, just like you Pippi   You won’t be disappointed – I pinkie promise!

Pippi: Have you ever encountered a venomous snake?

Bernie: Look, they are quite common in Australia, especially if you live in country towns, but they still like to surprise us city folk from time to time. I found a small brown snake on my washing machine a couple of years ago. Was I cool, calm and collected?!  Umm NO!! FAR OUT! I screamed blue murder! Come to think of it, we never did find that little sucker again; he probably just found his way back into the backyard where the kids play, so it’s all good!

[This is one that my Brother-in-Law found while we were on holidays – cute ay!]

Pippi: Do you really throw shrimps on the barbie?

Yes, we’ve been known to, but we call them prawns here. We love our seafood in Australia – and who wouldn’t, with that huge Great Barrier Reef to fish from!

Pippi: Do you use the words “G’day” and “Crikey” and “Blimey” and “Mate” every day?

Bernie: Ooh, I haven’t heard “blimey” & “Crikey” for ages – those words are probably more used by old blokes. I guess we say “G-Day” and “Mate” a lot…well I do anyway. (btw, “blokes” = “men”)

Pippi: Every family I know was heartbroken when The Crocodile Hunter (Steve Irwin) died. How about in Australia?

Bernie: Man Alive! That was the worst news EVER!  I don’t think there was a dry eye to be found! He was a legend – so passionate! Now, HE was a guy who said “Crikey” a lot!!

Pippi: Anything you’d like to share about why we should visit Australia or what makes your area unique?

Bernie: Ooh maaate, (see?) I live in Brisbane, Queensland, and we have so much to offer!! Where do I start?! We have yummy food such as lamingtons, TimTams, Meat Pies and Vegemite!

Australia’s a great place for taking road trips – there’s so much area to cover and so much to see! On a road trip up to North Queensland last year, we saw this poor fella on the side of the road. I tell ya what Pippi, when the Queensland Main Road’s Department mark white lines on the open highway, they ain’t stopping for nothin’!

In all seriousness, there is so much about Ostrayleeyah that you’ll love! We have amazing wildlife, outback adventures, beautiful islands, rainforests and reefs. Australia’s unique beauty is spread across eight states and territories!

We also have amazing attractions like the Big Guitar, the Big Pineapple, the Big Banana, the Big Prawn…you get the point…

[Miss 7 at the Big Guitar]

Pippi: Thanks so much for participating, Mate!