Wonder Cookies

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Humor | Posted on 12-01-2017

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I wrote about my fiberlicious cookies awhile back. Guess what? I created a new and wonderfully improved version.

I call this new recipe Wonder Cookies.

As in…

I wonder what’s in these?
Almond flour, chocolate chips, chopped dates, coconut sugar, shredded coconut, flax seed.

I wonder how much fiber they have?
A zillion grams.

And then, the next question would be…

I wonder where the nearest toilet is?

Chances are, if you eat too many of these cookies, you will wonder why you did.

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Buffalo Turds

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cookies, Cooking, Humor, Nutrition, Parenting | Posted on 08-04-2013

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When you make cookies as ugly as I do, you might as well call them what they look like: buffalo turds.

Just take your favorite oatmeal cookie recipe and healthify it. Swap the white flour with oat flour. Swap the sugar with pureed dates. Add in some coconut, dried cranberries, and flax seed. And presto, you’ve got yourself fiber-rich “buffalo turds.”

Kids! Come and get ’em!

And you know what? They disappear about as quickly as the buffalo did a century ago. Fotunately, the American Bison are being reborn and the herds–and turds–are multiplying.

You can read more about these lovely creatures here:

http://earthjustice.org/features/ourwork/re-born-to-be-re-wild?gclid=CLLctreAuLYCFQpxQgodHUEAKQ

 

buffalo_turdsPair-Of-Buffalo-1024x768

 

Am I Turning into an Old Lady?

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Aging, Children, Humor | Posted on 24-07-2012

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Commenting on how time flies and how kids are growing like a weed…those are old lady comments, in my book. Purchasing fiber capsules and complaining about my hardened feet and sore muscles? OMG, old lady comments.

Dude! I am turning into an old lady!

  • A friend of mine has a daughter who just got accepted to Dartmouth. Not only is that amazing and impressive, but I knew this woman when she was pregnant with this little Dartmouthian. What did I utter? “Wow, she sure has grown up.”*

*old lady comment

  • I was on Facebook and ran across a woman who just got married. A beautiful bride. I knew her when she was a six-year-old. What did I comment? “I knew you when you were just a little girl.”*

*old lady comment

  • The radio was on and it was Rihanna. Again. The words out of my mouth? “How can kids listen to this?”* Bah, music these days. And I changed it to the jazz station to listen to–get this–Eartha Kitt and Tommy Dorsey.

*old lady comment

  • I go to the kitchen cabinet only to discover I’m low on–what else? Fiber capsules.*

*old lady purchase

My thirteen-year-old officially towers over me, standing tall at 6′. Am I shrinking, like old ladies do? I quickly measured myself. Whew, still 5’8″.

Then I jumped in the car (because I still can) and drove fast (because I still can), blasted some Rihanna, and stocked up on fiber capsules.

 

Oat Bran: Too Much of a Good Thing

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Children, Connections, Cookies, Humor, Life Lessons, Mothering, Mothers and Sons, Parenting | Posted on 21-05-2012

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Yes, Virigina, there is such thing as too much oat bran.

Here’s a little story about how I nearly changed my name from Pesky Pippi to Poopy Pippi. If you can’t handle poop talk, better not read on.

It all started out with an innocent batch of cookies. I made Oatmeal-Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies. And I swapped out all of the flour with oat bran.

Note: Raw coconut and oat bran both are packed with fiber and increase metabolism. A powerful combination.

It was a gorgeous batch of cookies. Chewy. Tasty. Hot out of the oven.

I ate four. I ate seven. OK, I ate nine.

Then it was time to take my daughter to soccer practice. While she practiced, my seven-year-old son and I played on the play structure at the park. Everything was going just swimmingly. We were climbing, jumping, swinging. Just another day at the park.

Then it hit. The oat bran fiber bomb was about to explode.

You know that feeling when you have to poop and there is no toilet nearby? Yeah that. And you start to sweat. And clench. And take baby steps. Fast baby steps to the car.

You call to your son with panic in your voice, “Honey. We have to go NOW. Mommy has to go poop. And it’s an emergency.”

He says, “I know that feeling.” Yeah, he knows. And you know he knows.

You share a brief moment of understanding. I mean, haven’t we all been there?

By this time, you’re halfway to the car and you think you just can’t make it. Things are percolating.

And you are regretting the multitude of cookies you shoveled into your mouth, one hour before.

But your young son takes your hand and you hold it. And you know you HAVE to hold it in to show that you can do it.

You continue to sweat. You swear you’ll never eat another cookie in your life.

You make it to your car and drive frantically. Squeezing your buns all the way to the nearest grocery store, which is 4 minutes away if you make all the green lights. The grocery store becomes a beacon of light, welcoming you. Because you know from experience that the restrooms are clean and at the front of the store.

And you get there and the women’s restroom door is open because a guy is in there cleaning it. “Sorry, Ma’am, this restroom is closed.”

You give him the most helpless look. You feel like the one in Bridesmaids, the one who takes a dump in the sink.

So you stand there. Squeezing. Praying. One minute later he leaves and says, “It’s all yours.” And you want to high-five him, but you’re worried that too much movement will jiggle something loose.

Whew. You make it. And you breath a sigh of relief.

Your son peeks in, curious and eager, “Is everything OK Mom?”

“Yes, everything is OK,” you smile. A big, toothy smile, “Even Mommies nearly poop their pants.”

And he smiles. And understands.

Who knew that a poop emergency could be a life lesson in empathy?

Yum!

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