The (One) Time I Nearly Crapped My Pants

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor, Life, Life Lessons, Mother, Mothering, Nature | Posted on 03-09-2016

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There are several instances in my adulthood when I nearly crapped my pants. The most recent was last month, on a hike near Mount St. Helens. Upon entering the trail, the sign is warning enough to induce that stomach-is-churning-poop-is-coming feeling: Danger! Several fatalities have occurred in and around these waters. Stay on the trail.

Oh, crap!

Um, we’re staying on the trail. We hiked this same trail four years ago and I wrote about the seven lessons learned. Read that here.

The scenery is spectacular. It’s in a forest, at the base of Mount St. Helens. Surrounded by lush, Fir trees, there’s an aqua river that pounds through the lava canyon with such force, it has eroded the lava walls. Jagged cliffs greet you and the drop-offs are enough start crapping, especially if you have a fear of heights. Then, there’s the suspension bridge.

Suspended with cables, high above the crashing waters and lava rocks, the bridge sways. The slats are made of wooden boards with spaces in between, spaces so big that you fear your toes might get stuck like poor Vern crossing the railroad bridge in Stand By Me. Such big spaces, that our dog Otis wasn’t allowed to cross because of his innocent paws. I later read this about the bridge: “The bridge has no stiffening members under the deck at all, so each board is free to move bound only by the two cables it hangs from. Each board sinks a couple of inches with each step, giving the bridge what some have called a ‘trampoline’ feel…People with height phobias should probably turn back…”

I took a deep breath and took one step at a time. Gripping the handrails with white knuckles. My feet moved slowly, but my heart was racing. I reached the other side and my FitBit reported that my heart rate was 135 bpm. Pure adrenaline and fear.

I’m not sure why I felt compelled to take a selfie while on the bridge. Added to my fear of plummeting was my fear of dropping my phone. Proof, I guess. Proof that I did it. I knew I could. I had to. I had to overcome my fears, be brave, and set an example for my children.

But not really. Because I had sent them across first. 🙂

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Blood and Popcorn Kernels

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Fear, Kitchen, Life Lessons | Posted on 18-10-2014

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You know what scares me?

Clink! Klank! Rattle!

The sound of popcorn kernels in the garbage disposal.

My friend and I both share the fear of reaching into the sink to remove kernels. Because. Blood spewing. And. Bones chipping.

I glanced over at the switch to make sure it was off. Then, I  reached deep, deep, into the slimy pit. Feeling around and digging out popcorn kernels from the garbage disposal. One by one.

The fear that the switch would suddenly flip on and my fingers would get mangled by the blade and my bones would be churned into bits. Blood spurting everywhere. The disposal cutting into my hand, eating its way up to my wrist.

So now when I hear–Clink! Klank! Rattle!–I stay the hell away from the sink. And let those little suckers rattle away to their death, sparing my fingers and bones another day.

Enjoy those popcorn balls!

Check out those balls!

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