No Time For Slow-Ass Sloths


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Children, Kids, Kitchen, Life Lessons, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 29-01-2012

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This Honey Badger Mama has no time for Slow-Ass Sloths in our morning routine. This year at Pippi’s house, we’ve been trying hard to be on time for school. That means cramming in all of our duties and getting out the door five minutes earlier. Get up earlier, you say? No way. (If you have never heard of a honey badger, then check out my favorite LOL YouTube videos post.)

You know the morning drill, don’t you?

I wake up the sleeping kids. And they don’t want to be woken up. Beware those grumpy honey badgers!

I make and feed the kids protein-packed breakfasts. While they eat breakfast, I make their brown bag lunches consisting of tuna sandwiches, chocolate milk, apples, yogurt, and granola bars.

I sign homework. Then proceed to yell, as all Honey Badger Mamas do. “Time to brush your teeth!” “Hurry!” “Backpacks and coats and shoes!” “Get into the car!” “Now!”

And, man, do they move slowly. Kinda like slow-ass sloths:

No time for slow-ass sloths! We’re late for the bus!

But underneath tough Honey Badger Mama exterior, is a softie.  Here are three reasons why we were late to school this week. All valid excuses, IMHHBMO (in my humble Honey Badger Mama opinion):

  • Excuse #1: Earrings wouldn’t go in. My nine-year-old daughter got her ears pierced last fall and we are still struggling with getting the earrings to go IN. And being a young woman, earrings are now a must-have accessory and one cannot show up to third grade wearing the same earrings two days in a ROW.
  • Excuse #2: Dental hygiene. I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to brush my kids’ teeth FOR them in lieu of all the hollering and battling. For goodness sake, brush your honey badger teeth. I’m not asking, I’m demanding.
  • Excuse #2: Honey Badger Mama overslept. Whoopsidaisy. Sometimes, this just happens. Enough said.

“Sorry, I’ve Been Soooo Busy” is Not a Good Excuse


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Friends, Girlfriends, Relationships | Posted on 08-11-2011

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Are you guilty of uttering, “Sorry, I’ve been soooo busy” as your excuse for not calling or making a plan with a friend or getting the kids together for a play date? And then you ramble on about your to do list and all the crap you have had to do?

Not guilty of that? Well, goody for you.

Most of us are soooo busy. And many of us have uttered those words. Lame excuse. (Note: Friends who say they are too busy might really be just-not-that-into-you.)

I think it would be better to say, “Hey there! It’s great to hear your voice. I’ve missed you.” And leave it at that. No excuses. No ramblings. No lists.

But “busy” is just life in the fast lane for Mothers who juggle. Or Mothers who jiggle. Or Mothers who juggle and jiggle. 🙂

It’s about prioritizing what’s important in your day. We each have 1,440 minutes in a day. Make every minute count. Usually a good portion is used working or child rearing–or trying to do both. Then you squeeze in food shopping, food preparation, and cooking. For me that only takes five minutes because we like grilled cheese sandwiches around here–or “cheese on toast,” I’m told they are called outside of the United States.

Then, there’s shuttling kids to their activities. Shuttling yourself to your activities and your commitments. Don’t forget exercising. And personal hygiene and grooming (see related post on tweezing).

Oh, and housework. But, that generally drops down lower on my priority list.

So why are the all-important connections–we women need to make–also dropping down lower on the priority list? Down low, along with the scrubbing of toilets.

Pee in the toilets happen. Every day. But don’t piss away friendships. Because, without proper tending, friendships just might get flushed down the toilet.