It’s Soup Time, Bitches!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Food, Humor, Ideas, Recipes | Posted on 27-01-2017

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Give me your tired, your shriveled,
Your limp veggies yearning to breathe free,
The limp carrots from your teeming fridge.
Send these, the throw-aways, toss them over to me:
I lift my ladle from beside the golden soup.

Do you have soon-to-perish vegetables lingering in your fridge? Give those vegetables a purpose. Let them be soup!

Soup is easy. Soup is healthy. Soup is comforting. Soup is my friend.

This is what I do. I boil the carcass of a roasted chicken or a turkey in water. Remove the bones and whatnot. Add kosher salt and garlic and sometimes crushed red pepper, and bam, you have broth. (I have never written the word carcass. Now I’ve written it twice.)

Add any vegetables you want. Lately, I’ve been using cauliflower, purple onions, yellow peppers, celery, fresh cilantro, fresh spinach, and carrots. Chop away!

I try to use fresh produce, but sometimes, the carrots are kinda floppy. So, I give them a chance to participate.

Add the vegetables to the chicken broth. Boil, stir, then simmer.

And, bam, it’s soup time, bitches!

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Best Banana Bread in the World Recipe

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Recipes | Posted on 02-06-2015

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You know when you Google recipes? And you type “banana bread recipe.” Then you try “best banana bread recipe.” Why not try “best banana bread in the world recipe?”

No need to Google any further…because my banana bread is ah-mazing. In fact, it’s the best banana bread in the world. Just ask my husband and daughter.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 3/4 cup brown sugar (or less)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. baking powder
  • 1 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. nutmeg
  • 1 1/2 cups almond flour*  (*Almond flour makes the consistency very moist…you can always use other flours for different consistencies.)
  • 4 ripe bananas, mashed
  • 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

What to do:

  • Mix the wet ingredients and cream together.
  • Add the dry ingredients.
  • Mash the bananas in a separate bowl. Fold into mixture.
  • Add walnuts.
  • Pour into a greased metal loaf pan. I used parchment paper too.
  • Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour and 45 minutes, covering top with foil.

Enjoy!

Camouflage.

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Cauliflower Pizza That Doesn’t Suck

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Health, Recipes | Posted on 21-03-2014

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If cauliflower is the new kale, then this pizza is the new yummy.

I can’t promise that your kids will eat this. I mean, have you smelled cauliflower cooking? The smell is enough to quit cooking altogether and call for pizza delivery.

But if you can brave the stench and can stand crust that’s a little soggy, then this is the pizza for you.

Like how I sold it so well? Hahaha! This pizza is cauliflowericious! And packed with fiber! Did you know that cauliflower is. One. Of. The. World’s Healthiest. Foods. Read here if you need nutrition details to sell you.

Ingredients for Crust

  • Head of cauliflower
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • garlic to taste
  • salt to taste
  • 2 packs of dried crushed red peppers (you know the packets you get from–ironically–pizza places?)
  • pesto sauce or tomato sauce
  • mozzarella cheese
  • fresh parmesan cheese
  • toppings (I used chopped green onions and sliced tomatoes)
Directions

  1. Chop and grate the cauliflower until it’s “flour like” (I used my Cuisinart to grate the crap out of it)
  2. Mix in the egg and spices
  3. Microwave for 6 minutes. That’s when you’ll smell the stench.
  4. Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees.
  5. Put in a salad spinner if you have one. And spin the crap out of it. This gets a lot of the excess water out. Cauliflowers are juicy suckers!
  6. Grease a pizza stone or baking sheet with olive oil and parchment paper.
  7. Flatten the crust and bake at 425 degrees for at least 15 minutes.
  8. Top the crust with the sauce of your choice, cheese, and toppings.
  9. Bake about 15 minutes.

Enjoy! You are officially caulifloweramazing!

Best pizza-with-cauliflower-crust ever!

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Somewhere Over the Rainbow

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Children, Family, Holidays, Ideas, Recipes | Posted on 17-03-2014

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St. Patrick’s Day is upon us. And we kinda make a big deal out of holidays. Around here, we are party animals!

Three out of five people in our home still believe in the magic of leprechauns and squeal when we see rainbows. So, a perfectly magical rainbow cake was in order.

I used a recipe from Betty Crocker. However, instead of (ho hum) white frosting, we made it green. Duh! And added rainbow sprinkles for some St. Patrick’s Day flair.

Step aside, Betty Crocker. Somewhere over the rainbow is Pippi. Who spent two hours of precious weekend time creating a little magic. And the squeals of delight made it. Totally. Worth. It.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! May you believe in the magic of rainbows.

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Step Aside Betty Crocker

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Fiberlicious

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Children, Family, Nutrition, Recipes | Posted on 08-01-2014

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Trying to reduce your sugar intake? Trying to be gluten free? Need something to satisfy your cookie cravings?

Here’s an excellent pretty good decent recipe that meets the above criteria. Plus, they look like poop turds (and kinda taste like them), which will wow the children!

  • 1/2 cup butter or vegetable shortening (I used Smart Balance)
  • 1/2 cup date goo (I chopped up dates and simmered them with 1/4 cup water to make a “paste”)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1 cup ground oat flour (yeah, I made my own. Just call me Pioneer Pippi.)
  • 1 cup rolled oats
  • 1 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1 cup chocolate chips (or if you’re anti-sugar, put in some dried cranberries or raisins)

Cream butter and date paste. Add eggs. Mix together the remaining dry ingredients, then stir them into the creamed mixture. Plop and bake on a parchment-lined cookie sheet at 350 degrees F about 10 minutes.

Eat too many and you’ll be running to the bathroom. Because they are #fiberlicious!

P.S. You can swap out any kind of flour and oil. I am experimenting with almond flour and coconut oil. What the heck?

Fiberlicious!

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My Pumpkin Bread Sucks Balls

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Children, Humor, Nutrition, Pumpkin, Recipes | Posted on 14-10-2013

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I had great plans for these pumpkin loaves. Great, healthy plans.

You know, use oat flour instead of flour flour. Use chia seed gel as the oil. Use applesauce to replace half of the sugar.

Removing them from the oven, the pumpkin bread smelled delicious. However, removing them from the pans, the loaves were dense yet sorta gooey.

After doling out wedges to my kids, my eight-year-old son bravely took a taste and announced, “Your pumpkin bread sucks balls.”

#bakingfail

pumpkin bread

The Cherry Pie

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Advice, Attitude, Grandmother, Memories, Recipes | Posted on 04-09-2013

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When I was about ten years old, my grandmother took me along to her church function. A church ladies luncheon. She proudly carried in her freshly-baked cherrie pie with a fluted pie crust that glistened with sugar sprinkled on top in one hand, and ushered me along (also proudly) with her other hand.

What a beauty! The pie. I was too, as she had curled my hair like Shirley Temple just for the occasion.

The buffet was quite a spread. I remember deviled eggs and ambrosia salad (you know, the kind of fruit salad with marshmallows?) and ham sandwiches and pies. Lots of pies.

My grandmother’s beauty of a pie had a halo around it. I couldn’t wait to dive in.

Except, as we were lining up, as good church ladies do, I overhead one lady to say to another, “Looks like that pie is made from canned cherries. Harumph!” And she passed over my grandmother’s pie in disgust, as mean church ladies do.

My mouth sorta dropped and I thought what a mean thing to proclaim. I happened to love canned cherry pie filling. The kind that are neon red, with the oozing cherry sauce.

What a bitch that woman was. There, I said it.

Not to her face. But I sure thought it. Actually, maybe “bitch” wasn’t in my vocabulary back then, at ten. All I knew was, no one talks bad about my grandmother and her pie-making skills. Harumph!

When we were back home, I just had to tell my grandmother about the meanie. (Later, I kinda wished I had just kept it to myself.) But, my grandmother heartily laughed it off and her words echoed mine, “what a bitch!”

Ha! No, she didn’t say that exactly. But she said something about how there will always be mean people and to pay them no attention.

Golly. My grandmother was not only an excellent baker, but she had amazing self-awareness and confidence and integrity all rolled in, and a layer of toughness sprinkled on top.

cherry pie

How Many Spiders Does it Take?

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Childhood, Childrearing, Children, Life, Memories, Mothering, Mothers and Sons, Nostalgia, Recipes, Relationships, Teenager, Teenagers | Posted on 02-05-2013

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How many plastic spider rings does it take to raise a child from toddler to teenager? In our case, 500.

I invested in a whopping bag of plastic spider rings, when my oldest son was about three. Five hundred of them. “These will come in handy to top cupcakes, to add to goody bags, and to play jokes on people,” I had thought. Whoa! So many fun times ahead!

Well. My oldest son just turned 14 years old this week. When it was time to decorate his cake, I rummaged through the bin where I keep cupcake papers, food coloring, sprinkles, birthday candles, and plastic spider rings.

There was only one spider ring left. What?!

We had finally exhausted our supply. I had baked an abundance of cupcakes over the years to deliver to school functions, added the rings to birthday goody bags, and distributed them at Halloween.

The rings marked milestones in my son’s life. They took him from toddler to teen. And now, the spiders are gone.

But the other day, as my son stood there in the kitchen–standing 6 ft. 1 in. tall–he tasted his mud pie birthday cake and giddily shrieked, “This is your best cake yet, Mom!”

His enthusiasm and kindness are reminders that despite age (and height), he is still the same on the inside.

spider rings

The Cookie

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Childrearing, Children, Cookies, Kitchen, Memories, Parenting, Pinterest, Recipes | Posted on 06-02-2013

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Chocolate-chip cookies…again?

No way!

Do you want to be the coolest Mom ever? How about making one giant cookie…with giant impact. What ’til your kids see this! They will be stunned and awed, just like in Uncle Buck. Remember the giant pancake?

Click here for my best chocolate-chip-cookies-on-Earth recipe.

So, instead of plopping the dough as you would for individual cookies, make one giant plop onto a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet and smash down and smooth out with a spatula. Bake at 350 degrees about 12 minutes and keep an eye on it. Take it out just before you think it’s done (the one in the pic is a little overcooked…my bad…I was on Twitter).

Once cooled, you can frost it to make a smiley face, as in my birthday “cake” last year. Click here to see that beauty. Or you can cut into a heart. Brilliant…just in time for Valentine’s Day!

C is for Cookie. Or for “Crap, I just ate too much damn cookie.”

cookie

Peanut Butter Cookies Like Grandma Used to Make

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cookies, Cooking, Grandmother, Ideas, Memories, Recipes | Posted on 07-09-2012

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This peanut butter cookie recipe is my grandmother’s. I have her recipe card–stained with butter–written in her curly script. She made these cookies in the Great Depression. So not only are these suckers tasty, they are best served with a glass of American history.

Peanut Butter Cookies

  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup melted butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda

Combine butter, peanut butter, sugars, eggs.  Add in baking soda, Then flour. Mix dough. Roll into balls and place onto parchment paper-line cookie trays. Flatten criss-cross with a fork (can dip fork into water so it doesn’t stick). Bake about 8-10 minutes in a 375 degree oven. I take them out a little early for chewy cookies.

Then I proceed to eat about seven. These Great Depression cookies are perfect for the anti-dieters. 🙂