It was just your typical Saturday night around here.

We cranked up some of my favorite dance songs from “way back when,” turned on the disco ball, and proceeded to have an impromptu dance party. That’s the best kind.

I taught my seven-year-old a thing or two about ’80s rap. And he taught me a thing or two about some crazy-cool dance moves.

Here are my top 13 favorite dance songs from long ago:

1. Baby Got Back
2. Can’t Touch This
3. Push It
4. Jump Around
5. The Humpty Dance
6. Walk This Way
7. Word Up Cameo
8. Rockit
9. Insane in the Membrane
10. Play That Funky Music
11. Bust A Move
12. Funky Cold Medina
13. Wild Thing

When sexy meets smart. Apparently that’s the new tagline of Go Daddy.

More like: When slurp meets gross-me-out. Totally LOL.

Did you see the Go Daddy commercial that ran during the Super Bowl??? OMG. It was the best. Where supermodel, Bar Refaeli, slurps kisses smart guy-nerd, Walter.

SLUUUUUURP!

It was like a train wreck. You had to stare.

But the slurping?? You had to listen. And turn up your TV’s volume to, like, 30. And you laughed your ass off. And you proceeded to go to YouTube so you could watch it again. And again. And again.

My friend @FloodG described this sound:

@mayorgia @peskypippi It sounded like someone standing there, stirring a big bowl of Kraft dinner at me. Bleah.

— Flood G. (@FloodG) February 4, 2013

A slurping kiss that sounds like stirring creamy, oozing, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese…in your ear. Yeah that.

That Walter? He’s gonna be more famous than Bar Refaeli.

Did you miss it? No worries. Check it out here. And let me know what it sounds like to you. All this talk is making me kinda hungry…

Dear Mr. Tramar Dillard aka Flo Rida,

First off, congratulations on your little ditty, Whistle, getting more than 107 million views on YouTube. I wonder how many of those viewers are girls under 12?

And, wow, Whistle was a top 5 single on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. I wonder how many tweens are singing along, on their iPods?

Whistle plays on rotation on the Z100 radio station. Z100 pulls in an audience of five million daily. Many of them are like the girl pictured below. Isn’t she sweet and innocent?

Golly, you are reaching millions and millions of kids, with songs that are totally degrading to women. I am sure your Mama and Grandma would be proud!

Just keeping it real,

Pippi

Oh and here are the lyrics, so that you and your young daughters can, uh, sing along togehter in the car.

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, here we go

I’m betting you like people
And I’m betting you love freak mode
And I’m betting you like girls
That give love to girls and stroke your little ego

I bet you I’m guilty, your honor
That’s just how we live in my genre
Went to hell and paid the Rottweiler
There’s only one Flo and one Rida

I’m a damn shame, order more champagne
Pulled a damn ham string, trying to put it on ya
Bet your lips spin back around corner
Slow it down baby, take a little longer

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow

You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, here we go

Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

It’s like everywhere I go, my whistle ready to flow
Shorty don’t even know, she can get any by the low
Tell me she not a pro, it’s okay, it’s under control
Show me soprano ’cause girl, you can handle

Baby, we start something, you come up in bar clothes
Girl, I’m loosening, my Bugatti the same road
Show me your perfect pitch, you got it my banjo
Talented with your lips like you blew out a candle

So amusing
Now you can make a whistle with the music
Hope you ain’t got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect pitch, you never lose it

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow

You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, here we go

Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

Go on girl, you can perk it
Let me see your whistle while you work it
I’ma lay it back, don’t stop it
‘Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it on me

Now, shorty let that whistle blow
Yeah, baby make that whistle blow

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow

You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, here we go

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle baby, whistle, baby
Whistle baby, whistle, baby

One word for Oscar Pistorius, the South African Olympian runner with artificial limbs: awesomeness.

I mean, I tear up at the Olympic athlete stories. Their stories of struggle. Their stories of sacrifice.

But Oscar Pistorius?

This guy has no legs. He had both legs amputated below the knee as a baby and wears prosthetic limbs.

And he ran the 400-meter semi-finals in the Olympics.

Awesomeness.

And I’ve been complaining that I have callouses on my toes.

Dude.

There are naysayers who say his artificial limbs give him an advantage over runners with regular Olympic legs. Are you kidding?? Maybe those naysayers need to walk in Oscar’s shoes for awhile.

Oscar is a true athlete, with amazing ability, attitude, confidence, inspiration, and spunk.

I will never complain about my toes again.

I bought vegan shampoo on accident. Whoa! My hair got all demanding on me, like the mouse in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. In fact, my hair turned righteous. Here’s what happened.

If you give your hair vegan shampoo,

She will demand vegan conditioner.

When you smooth on vegan conditioner,

She will want an Egyptian cotton towel to dry.

When you rummage around to look for an Egyptian cotton towel,

She will ask if you washed the towel with a low-water washing machine.

When you tell her you washed it with a low-water washing machine,

She will say it’s time to go shopping via bicycle, with no emissions.

After you bike to Whole Foods with your freshly-washed hair,

She’ll demand you use your recyclable bag to buy organic berries from local farmers.

After you buy organic berries from local farmers, she’ll insist on buying some antibiotic-free chicken.

When you buy her some chicken, she’ll remind you that she is a vegan and only uses vegan shampoo.

And she will demand vegan conditioner to go along with it.

Sheesh! Whatever happened to plain old milk-and-honey shampoo? #simplertimes

I’m hanging out at Yeah Write with other cool bloggers, with my shiny hair. How about you?

When it comes to Star Wars trivia, I am not the the brightest star in the galaxy. In fact, I am sort of retarded. If there were CliffsNotes, I would get them. Just to keep up with my seven-year-old son.

I first saw Star Wars at the movie theater when I was eight years old. When I tell my son that I know about the first Star Wars, my young son will correct me and say, “No, MOM, it’s not the FIRST Star Wars, it’s episode IV: A New Hope.”

WTH?

When you start messing with chronology and prequels, you lose me. You had me at Clone Troopers, Boba Fett, Jango Fett, General Grievous, Count Dooku. And Anakin. Who IS this kid?

If I had to write an essay on the Star Wars storyline and how these characters interact, I would pee my Jedi briefs. I just don’t get it. And I’m a pretty smart cookie.

I mean, I know Chewbacca C-3PO, R2-D2, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Jabba the Hut, Princess Leia, Storm Troopers, Yoda. You could quiz me. I even know the Millenium Falcon and the Death Star.

Dude! When I was a kid, C-3PO and R2-D2 did a Public Service Announcement about immunize-your-children-against-Whooping-Cough. Whooping Cough?! Yeah that. Now I sound as if I’m as old as Yoda.

Then there’s the Wookies, Ewoks, even Jar Jar Binks (doesn’t he sound like Dobby in Harry Potter?) I know them!

I am the mother to three children who happen to love this sextiology. My youngest son will talk for hours straight about Boba and Jango. I nod and smile as if I totally get it. (I don’t have a clue.)

But I’ll buy the Lego Star Wars game on Xbox 360, light sabers, the Clone Trooper Halloween costume, the Lego sets, the Yoda jammies, toothbrushes. Regardless of my Star Wars retardation, I DO have a clue about consumerism and merchandising. I get that.

Set “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

You may not be preparing your children to be an Olympic athlete, but you are preparing them for something even bigger:

LIFE.

We mothers care so much and do so much.

And it is all worth it.

This commercial thanks mothers with the theme “the hardest job in the world is the best job in the world.”

Best. Commercial. Ever.

What do you think? Let me know if it made you cry. I did. #bigtime

I don’t know about you, but when it’s cold outside, I like to wear a coat. When it’s rainy, a water-repellant coat. Duh.

Teens around here don’t like to wear coats. Even in a downpour.

A few years ago I bought my son a puffy winter coat. A coat that you could wear in the freaking tundra.

Well, this puffy coat has been at the center of many mother-son debates: to wear or not to wear.

The decision is usually: not to wear.

This reminds of Jerry Seinfeld and the puffy pirate shirt. Remember?

It’s the Seinfeld episode whereby Kramer’s low-talking girlfriend, a clothing designer, gets Jerry to wear a puffy pirate-like shirt on the Today Show. Jerry agrees, because he can’t hear what she is saying. When he realizes what he committed to, Jerry whines “But I don’t want to be a pirate.” He wears the shirt on TV and everyone laughs. Jerry is miserable and finally blurts out that it’s not his shirt and that he thinks it’s “the stupidest shirt I’ve ever seen.”

And then there’s the pick-your-battles theory. Is this puffy coat worth the battles that ensue? Nah. This puffy coat is now in the giveaway pile.

Let someone else have a pirate battle.

With names like Grave Digger, King Krunch, USA, Obsessed, Tasmanian Devil, and Titan, how can you NOT want to hoot and holler at the Monster Truck rally?

Who goes to the rally…giddier than her six-year-old son in tow? Pippi

Who woohoos when the monster trucks pummeled over smashed cars? Pippi.

Who shouts “GO GRAVE DIGGER!!” when the famous truck turned on its engine and the headlights glowed red in the darkened stadium with George Thorogood’s Bad to the Bone blaring? Pippi.

I admit it. I like me some big trucks.

Yup. I’m proud to be THAT Mom. Because the ginormous Monster Truck rally only rolls around once a year.

Valentine’s Day is upon us. For that romantic evening ahead, how about suggesting an extra-special movie so your guy will be feeling the LOVE. Here’s Pippi’s list of top 13 guy movies:

1. Scarface
2. Terminator
3. The Godfather
4. Shawn of the Dead
5. Pulp Fiction
6. The Dirty Dozen
7. Good Fellas
8. The Matrix
9. Gladiator
10. Reservoir Dogs
11. Fight Club
12. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
13. Die Hard

If you suggest one of these movies TONIGHT, chances are your box of chocolates TOMORROW will be ginormous.