#BigCabbage

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Connections, Happiness, Humor, Little Story | Posted on 19-12-2016

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What weighs 30 lbs., is comical, crunchy, and has its own hashtag?

#Bigcabbage.

We bought a big cabbage at the produce market for $5. Locally grown, it was a giant cabbage so big that it could be used for cross-training.

But first, we photographed it and posted its glorious girth on Instagram. Who knew that this cabbage of mine would make so many friends? Who knew that #bigcabbage could bring the world together, sharing smiles and gasps, one post at a time. I “liked” all the posts with #bigcabbage and met friends from around the world, including Japan and Kentucky, who shared the love of extraordinary produce.

My daughter carved a face in the cabbage. (She is really good with knives. You can read that post here.) It proved a wonderful, carvable canvas. We then enjoyed that head over the course of ten weeks. Did you know that the cabbage is one of the healthiest foods you can eat? A cruciferous vegetable packed with nutrients. Don’t take my word for it. Read more here.

Nutritious. Crunchy. Economical. Versatile. Funny.

There is nothing like bringing people together one cabbage at a time. #bigcabbage

Happy Monday! #bigcabbage

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Sweet Talking

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Life Lessons, Little Story | Posted on 24-05-2016

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Last year, my in-laws took my youngest son on a cruise to Alaska. What an adventure! We sent him with an old iPhone so he could text us and reassure us that he was safe.

About halfway through the trip, we got a text–not from him–but from AT&T stating that we were racking up charges. To the tune of $300. Then $600. Turns out that my son was being charged international roaming charges when the ship was at sea.

I had the sinking feeling that we would be anchored with a Titanic phone bill.

We texted my son and my in-laws. Turn off the phone! We left voicemails. No answer. When the three of them finally docked in Juneau, we got through. Glad you’re OK! Now turn off your phone!

The AT&T charges finally reached $1,300.

I called AT&T and knew I had to sweet talk my way out of paying for this. I drummed up all the sweetness I could. Gosh, my ten-year-old is with his grandparents on a cruise in Alaska. We surely didn’t know about roaming charges. Oh…we needed to call you ahead of time to sign up for a special international plan? I didn’t know. Thank you soooooo much.

The customer service representative was equally nice. In the end, he only charged me $35 to sign up for the special international plan. Sweet!

Another example of how you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

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Full of Pep

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Adolescence, Attitude, Confidence, Encouragement, Kindness, Life, Little Story, School, Teaching | Posted on 20-04-2016

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When I was in seventh grade, our teacher gave us a fun assignment. We were to write our names on a piece of paper then pass it around the classroom. Each student was to anonymously write something nice about each person: a trait, a compliment, what you like about that person. As the papers circulated, kindness filled the pages.

It was a great exercise to express the good in everyone and boost confidence. I still remember one phrase written about me:

Full of pep.

pep: noun energy and high spirits; liveliness.

I ran across this picture of me when I was in the seventh grade. Curly hair in braids, a big smile, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on my head. This was taken on our seventh grade camping trip in Yosemite. The same trip where I dared the boys to see who could stand in the freezing-cold river the longest. (Full of grit!)

The girl in the forefront is the one who wrote “full of pep.” (After we got our papers returned, she had leaned across her desk and whispered to me I wrote that. I still remember beaming back.)

Those three words written oh-so-long-ago had an impact on me and still make me smile. I will always remember my friend’s kindness and friendship…and…her accurate assessment. Wink!

Thirty four years later and still full of pep, I now have a daughter in the seventh grade. I showed her this picture and she was like, “Mom, are look the same!”

Some things never change.

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Pippi Droopystocking

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Little Story | Posted on 11-12-2014

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It was time to wear the little big black dress. And tights.

My husband’s holiday work party was here and I needed to make a good impression.

Except my tights were anything but. I had quickly grabbed a pair and of course it was the one with the missing elastic waistband. Loose tights. What an oxymoron.

A delightful impression I made. Every four minutes, I had to grab the slipping waistband and hoist them back into place. Trying to do at strategic intervals–at the bar, then at the buffet, then at the dessert table (thrice)–so as not to draw attention.

The wardrobe malfunction got a little tiresome, so I let the tights slip down near my knees and sorta waddled around.

My droopystockings did not make a good impression that night, but thank goodness my winning personality did! Wink!

Yup.

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The Tuna Thief

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Life, Little Story, School | Posted on 26-10-2014

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Once upon a time, there was a girl who made the tastiest tuna fish sandwiches in all the land. She used only the finest cans of tuna, mayonnaise, and relish.

She would make the batch of tuna the night before, cut her sandwiches diagonally, and tuck them into paper bags. She stored her lunches with care in her locker at school.

The aromas wafted through the locker vents, down the halls, into the nostrils of. The tuna thief.

When she went to her locker, she discovered her lunch had vanished. This happened for 5 days straight.

Who was eating her entire lunch? The tuna sandwich, the yogurt, the apple, the granola bar. Her belly rumbled.

The girl discovered the thief. She caught a fellow student opening her locker and taking her lunch. Just like that. So the next day, she filled the lunch bag with trash. He took the bait.

And that was that. The tuna thief was nevermore. The girl lived happily ever after, with a full belly and tuna breath.

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That Dog Sure Can Jump

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Animals, Humor, Little Story, Otis, Uncategorized | Posted on 19-07-2014

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Some dogs jump for frisbees. Some jump for tennis balls. Some jump for sticks.

Not my dog.

No. Otis jumps for fabric softener dryer sheets.

He likes to roll on them and smell all perfumey. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that they are called Bounce.

That dog can jump!

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Salmonella Poisoning?

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Childrearing, Cookies, Health, Humor, Little Story, Love, Mother | Posted on 14-03-2014

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Dizzy. Equilibrium off. Lack of appetite. Aching.

What could it be?

I know. It was probably salmonella poisoning from eating raw eggs from cookie dough. Yep, I knew it. I finally got it. After eating pounds and pounds of uncooked cookie dough over the years, I was due.

The symptoms continued for days. I talked to my friend who’s a nurse and admitted my dough overdose. She’s like nah. Are you dehydrated? Do you have stomach pains? Do you have diarrhea?

OK, so I Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a brain tumor. And it’s been growing there for three weeks, apparently. My husband’s like get your butt to the doctor.

So, he took me. On Valentine’s Day in fact. What love! (Not sure why I didn’t go to the doctor sooner. I mean, I take my kids the second they have a symptom.)

I did not have a brain tumor. Whew! I did not have salmonella poisoning. Whew!

Turns out I had merely a bilateral otitis media and sinutitus (double ear infection and sinus infection). What a tough cookie I am.

Happiness.

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There is a Good Time to Chase Squirrels and…

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Dogs, Encouragement, Exercise, Family Pet, Humor, Life, Little Story, Otis, Pets, Simply Otis | Posted on 05-03-2014

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I have been running with my dog pretty regularly. You know. The famous Simply Otis? You can “like” his Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/SimplyOtis

We run rain or shine. And lately, even in ice. We’re actually trying to log 31 runs for the month of March. Thirty-one days in March, get it? So far, we’re four for four. In your face! But this is not a bragging story. This is an OMG-I-nearly-knocked-the-Porta-Potty-over-because-Otis-decided-to-chase-a-squirrel-while-I-took-a-crap post.

See? Otis and I make the most excellent running duo.

He pulls me, I lag behind.

I talk to him, he listens.

I take pictures of him, he lets me.

He poops, I clean it up.

I poop, and that’s where this story begins.

If you know me, you know I simply love fiber. Beans. Flax. Oats. Dates in my cookies. More beans. More cookies. You can read about how I nearly pooped my pants in this post.

As Hagrid says, “Better out than in, eh Harry?!”

Well. We were running–Otis and I–and I had to go. Like immediately. Fiber just suddenly kicked in. Fortunately, we ran by a park with whaddya know: a Porta Potty.

Hmmm. Do I take Otis in with me? Do I tie him to a tree, just outside the Porta Potty? And risk someone taking him?

I did what I had to do.

Picture this. I crammed myself into the Porta Potty. Me on the inside of the Porta Potty. Otis on the outside. With leash in one hand inside. And Otis at the other end outside. On the other side of the shut door. I closed the door as best I could and proceeded. There I am, squatting. While Otis started pulling my arm, on the other side of the door. And he was pulling. Very. Hard.

He had spotted a squirrel and was raring to go.

I, too, was raring to go. Bad timing!

Otis yanked and was. Leaping. Towards the squirrel. And you know how squirrels are. They’re fast little suckers. And they dash and dart. The one thought that crossed my mind:

“OTIS IS GONNA PULL SO HARD THAT THE PORTA POTTY IS GONNA TOPPLE OVER WITH ME IN IT!!”

Fast forward four seconds.

Fortunately, there was no toppling. Everything came out just fine. (Oh no squirrels were harmed in this story.)

3 for 3! 3 runs in…3 weeks! 🙂

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The Bottle

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Family, Humor, Little Story, Mothers and Sons | Posted on 03-03-2014

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I don’t know what is funnier:

  1. My eight-year-old son peeing in a bottle.
  2. My fourteen-year-old getting so mad about it.
  3. My reaction to the whole thing.

My youngest son proudly told me that he had peed in a bottle and mixed it with “everything” he could find–shampoo, conditioner, liquid hand soap, shaving cream–to mix it all together for a science experiment.

“What did you do with it? Did you wash your hair with it?” I asked.

“No, it’s just sitting there in the bathroom. I’m waiting for it to explode. Is that what baking soda is for?”

Yikes. As I am envisioning exploding pee and bubbles.

Then, that evening, my oldest son witnessed the second experiment. And I hear this from upstairs.

“MOOOOOOOOOM! HE’S PEEING IN A BOTTLE!”

And I yell back, “YEAH, I KNOW! HE’S DOING A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT.”

In this family, we prioritize education. 🙂

Classic!

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I Feel Sorry For Bruised Apples

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Attitude, Little Story | Posted on 26-02-2014

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You really can’t take me grocery shopping without me feeling sorry for something. A bruised apple, I’ll buy it. A carton of eggs with one egg cracked, I’ll buy them. A dented can of tomatoes, I’ll buy it. I am such a sap!

I mean, who else is going to buy that stuff? I feel sorry for damaged food. (Except not milk that is about to expire. I stay way the hell away from that. If I get the slightest whiff of milk going bad, glug, glug, glug, down the sink it goes without even thinking.)

The other day when I was grocery shopping, there was a section of Valentines stuff that didn’t sell and was on clearance. Yuck, who wants that crap?? Not me. But wait.

Then.

Something caught my eye. A purple-and-pink stuffed Valentine monster. All by itself.

Except, not anymore.

That purple-and-pink stuffed Valentine monster, bruised apple, cracked eggs, and dented can of tomatoes all came home with me that day.

I couldn't resist this on clearance. I'm a sucker for toys that didn't sell.

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