Of Mice and Men

2

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Animals, Home, Humor | Posted on 20-02-2017

Tags: , , ,

One tiny mouse. Seven big humans. One large dog.

Last month, the freezing temperatures summoned a mouse into the great indoors: our living room. We spotted the mouse making a dash from sofa to television. It was a tiny mouse, the size of a walnut. A walnut with fur. And whiskers. And little pink ears. And a black tail.

My 17-year-old son and his two friends just happened to arrive home just in time. Let’s corner it and shoo it out the front door, we brainstormed on the fly.

It was my husband, me, my daughter, my 17-year-old son and his two 17-year-old friends, my youngest son, and our dog vs. one mouse, the size of a walnut.

Let me tell you, it took the eight of us to lift the sofa to scare the mouse to the wall’s edge, to get down on one’s knees and clap loudly, to scream with excitement, to block the dining room, to prevent Otis from eating it, to dance wildly in the middle of the room, to chase it with an orange Home Depot bucket, to continue to persuade it along the wall’s edge, to open the front door.

We did it! What a team effort!

When the mouse fled through the front door, we all stood there a little stunned, threw our heads back, and laughed.

That sweetie! #yellowlab #winter #yellowlabrador #dogso?nstagram #dog #snowdog

A post shared by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

The King

2

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Animals, Family, Family Pet, Humor | Posted on 02-02-2017

Tags: , , , , , ,

Welcome to my castle.

My dog has three dog beds throughout our home. One in the family room, one in my office, and one in our bedroom. Each is by a heat vent. Well placed for his comfort.

Yet, Otis usually prefers to sleep on human beds. Because he is the king. And he knows it.

My daughter sleeps at the very edge of her bed so that Otis can stretch his limbs and sprawl out next to her. And she covers him with a pink fleece blanket with bunnies on it.

And then sometimes, Otis will sleep on our bed. The king bed. Of course.

Reminds me of Borat, when he visits an American hotel for the first time: “king in the castle.” Whoa whoa woowa!

The king. #yellowlab #labrador #dogsofinstgram #owningit #kingofthecastle

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

It’s Soup Time, Bitches!

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Food, Humor, Ideas, Recipes | Posted on 27-01-2017

Tags: , ,

Give me your tired, your shriveled,
Your limp veggies yearning to breathe free,
The limp carrots from your teeming fridge.
Send these, the throw-aways, toss them over to me:
I lift my ladle from beside the golden soup.

Do you have soon-to-perish vegetables lingering in your fridge? Give those vegetables a purpose. Let them be soup!

Soup is easy. Soup is healthy. Soup is comforting. Soup is my friend.

This is what I do. I boil the carcass of a roasted chicken or a turkey in water. Remove the bones and whatnot. Add kosher salt and garlic and sometimes crushed red pepper, and bam, you have broth. (I have never written the word carcass. Now I’ve written it twice.)

Add any vegetables you want. Lately, I’ve been using cauliflower, purple onions, yellow peppers, celery, fresh cilantro, fresh spinach, and carrots. Chop away!

I try to use fresh produce, but sometimes, the carrots are kinda floppy. So, I give them a chance to participate.

Add the vegetables to the chicken broth. Boil, stir, then simmer.

And, bam, it’s soup time, bitches!

A video posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

Wonder Cookies

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Humor | Posted on 12-01-2017

Tags: , , , ,

I wrote about my fiberlicious cookies awhile back. Guess what? I created a new and wonderfully improved version.

I call this new recipe Wonder Cookies.

As in…

I wonder what’s in these?
Almond flour, chocolate chips, chopped dates, coconut sugar, shredded coconut, flax seed.

I wonder how much fiber they have?
A zillion grams.

And then, the next question would be…

I wonder where the nearest toilet is?

Chances are, if you eat too many of these cookies, you will wonder why you did.

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

#BigCabbage

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Connections, Happiness, Humor, Little Story | Posted on 19-12-2016

Tags: , , , , , , ,

What weighs 30 lbs., is comical, crunchy, and has its own hashtag?

#Bigcabbage.

We bought a big cabbage at the produce market for $5. Locally grown, it was a giant cabbage so big that it could be used for cross-training.

But first, we photographed it and posted its glorious girth on Instagram. Who knew that this cabbage of mine would make so many friends? Who knew that #bigcabbage could bring the world together, sharing smiles and gasps, one post at a time. I “liked” all the posts with #bigcabbage and met friends from around the world, including Japan and Kentucky, who shared the love of extraordinary produce.

My daughter carved a face in the cabbage. (She is really good with knives. You can read that post here.) It proved a wonderful, carvable canvas. We then enjoyed that head over the course of ten weeks. Did you know that the cabbage is one of the healthiest foods you can eat? A cruciferous vegetable packed with nutrients. Don’t take my word for it. Read more here.

Nutritious. Crunchy. Economical. Versatile. Funny.

There is nothing like bringing people together one cabbage at a time. #bigcabbage

Happy Monday! #bigcabbage

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

The (One) Time I Nearly Crapped My Pants

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor, Life, Life Lessons, Mother, Mothering, Nature | Posted on 03-09-2016

Tags: , , , , , ,

There are several instances in my adulthood when I nearly crapped my pants. The most recent was last month, on a hike near Mount St. Helens. Upon entering the trail, the sign is warning enough to induce that stomach-is-churning-poop-is-coming feeling: Danger! Several fatalities have occurred in and around these waters. Stay on the trail.

Oh, crap!

Um, we’re staying on the trail. We hiked this same trail four years ago and I wrote about the seven lessons learned. Read that here.

The scenery is spectacular. It’s in a forest, at the base of Mount St. Helens. Surrounded by lush, Fir trees, there’s an aqua river that pounds through the lava canyon with such force, it has eroded the lava walls. Jagged cliffs greet you and the drop-offs are enough start crapping, especially if you have a fear of heights. Then, there’s the suspension bridge.

Suspended with cables, high above the crashing waters and lava rocks, the bridge sways. The slats are made of wooden boards with spaces in between, spaces so big that you fear your toes might get stuck like poor Vern crossing the railroad bridge in Stand By Me. Such big spaces, that our dog Otis wasn’t allowed to cross because of his innocent paws. I later read this about the bridge: “The bridge has no stiffening members under the deck at all, so each board is free to move bound only by the two cables it hangs from. Each board sinks a couple of inches with each step, giving the bridge what some have called a ‘trampoline’ feel…People with height phobias should probably turn back…”

I took a deep breath and took one step at a time. Gripping the handrails with white knuckles. My feet moved slowly, but my heart was racing. I reached the other side and my FitBit reported that my heart rate was 135 bpm. Pure adrenaline and fear.

I’m not sure why I felt compelled to take a selfie while on the bridge. Added to my fear of plummeting was my fear of dropping my phone. Proof, I guess. Proof that I did it. I knew I could. I had to. I had to overcome my fears, be brave, and set an example for my children.

But not really. Because I had sent them across first. 🙂

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

Wieners In Your Face

2

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 29-08-2016

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Shit!

That was the first word uttered in Sausage Party. And that was my first reaction bringing my eleven-year-old and thirteen-year-old to this raunchy, totally-not-VeggieTales matinee.

When I watched the trailer, I thought what could be funnier than talking wieners?

We live in a family with three males, four if you count our dog–and two females. We women are outnumbered. Silly talk. Crudeness. Butt jokes. Wiener humor. We value openness and humor. It’s part of our family. My daughter and I are not phased. In fact, we join in with the comments. That what she said… This drawing is of a friendly penis, drawn years ago. Its artist shall remain unnamed. I keep it thumbtacked to my bulletin board for a giggle.

I was expecting Sausage Party to be full of wiener-dick-balls-buns jokes. It didn’t disappoint. However, we definitely were not the target audience. Ooops. Bad judgement on my part. Swing and a miss!

The movie had some good messages: how everyone has a purpose in life (including bagels and juice boxes). And everyone deserves to be loved. Except. Imagine animated horny hot dogs getting it on with sexy hot dog buns. Food porn. The final scene was an all-out food orgy on aisle 3.

I goofed taking my kids to this movie. All in a day of parenting, I guess, where there are hits and misses. Earlier that day, I took them to lunch at the Thai restaurant (hit), we shopped for school supplies (miss), and my youngest had his first guitar lesson (hit). Then, weenies in your face (miss).

I talk openly with my kids about anatomy. Anatomy is a part of life. I also admit when I’m wrong and I try to make things right. Mistakes are also part of life.

When we left the movie theater, I apologized to my kids that I made a mistake taking them to an inappropriate movie. I relish the fact that they forgave me.

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

Mr. Pickle

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Adolescence, Celebrations, Daughters, Happiness, Humor, Kindness, Playing | Posted on 08-08-2016

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I am a winner!

Actually, my daughter is the winner. She won a Mr. Pickle. At the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, she played skee ball with such accuracy that the dolphin leapt across the board into first place.

My daughter could be an Olympic skee baller.

She selected a Mr. Pickle as her prize and gifted him to me without prompting. OK, maybe a little. I could not resist his greenness, his glasses, his mustache, and his little shoes. And the fact that he was shaped like a…giggle…pickle. I gleefully accepted, squealing Thank You!

Mr. Pickle was promptly secured with a seatbelt in the back seat, as he quickly became the newest member of the family.

With a daughter like mine, I too, am a winner.

Mr. Pickles!

A post shared by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

I won a Mr. Pickle!

A post shared by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

The Sausage

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Clothes, Humor | Posted on 27-06-2016

Tags: , , , ,

I’m shrinking! Not really.

But my new “slender” swimsuit? Whoa!

This one-piece swimsuit claims that it will make you look a whole size smaller.

No kidding. When you first step into the leg holes, be prepared to get sucked. Yanking and tugging the material up over your mid-section, you break a sweat. Then, there’s the stretching and pulling the suit up to your armpits. Whew, time for a water break. Finally, one arm strap then the other, and hooray! Time for the cool down. Afterward, I feel that post-workout accomplishment.

Then looking in the mirror, I’m like, damn! This suit doesn’t only make you look a whole size smaller, you are actually a whole size smaller. Because you lose a few pounds just putting the damn thing on. In the meantime, you kinda feel like a sausage.

Pass the mustard sunscreen.

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on

The Ferret

0

Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor | Posted on 07-06-2016

Tags: , , ,

What is 20 inches long, domesticated, brown, and weighs about 1.5-4 lbs.?

A ferret? Yes!

The clump of hair from the shower drain I unclogged? Yes!

Writing about hair clumps in the shower drain has become “a thing.” I have written about hair clumps twice before. Once, I wrote a poem about the new pet (ha!) that was the size of a hamster. Then, I wrote about an even bigger clump I named Hairy.

Guess it’s been eight months since I last cleaned out the drain, because this time, the hair clump was the length of a ferret. From its head to its tail. Ew!

Fortunately, we come from a strong lineage of thick and ever-abundant hair. Stay tuned for the drain reveal at Christmas! Pass the shampoo…

3 generations! ??????

A photo posted by PeskyPippi (@peskypippi) on