Juicy Eyeballs

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Aging, Health | Posted on 09-03-2017

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Time for my eye exam!

They took a picture of the back of my eye and showed me so I could ooh and aah at my veins and vessels, my macula and fovea, and whatnot. I wasn’t quite sure what I was looking at.

Why does everything look so shiny? I asked.

Because you eat lots of vegetables. You have healthy eyes!
They told me.

Well, whaddya know.

My vegetable consumption is paying off in health benefits. All those f’ing spinach salads and cauliflower. Read here about the wonder vegetables for healthy eyeballs.

It seems that I have hit the magic age when my face is starting to droop, wrinkles are appearing, and hairs are sprouting in all the wrong places.

So, when I heard that I have juicy eyeballs, it kinda made my day.

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You’re a Rockstar!

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Aging, Health, Women | Posted on 26-05-2015

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“Holy cow! You’re a rockstar!” praised the imaging technician when I completed my mammogram.

I nearly high-fived her with so much excitement and all! I guess I’m pretty good at having my breasts flattened like Flat Stanley. Go me! Go team!

Go you. Go get your mammogram scheduled. You can handle it. Read here about what a mammogram entails. The American Cancer Society recommends annual mammograms for women who are 40 and older. If you’re in your 20s and older, monthly breast self examinations and an annual clinical breast exams are recommended.

So, whatever you call them…

Breasts, boobs, boobies, tatas, girls, bosoms, titties, jugs, melons, hooters, tits, knockers, twins, blossoms…

Get ’em checked. Go be a rockstar.

Get 'em checked. #mammogram

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Growing Like A Fir

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Confidence, Growing UP, Health, Milestones, Mothering, Parenting, Teenagers | Posted on 14-05-2015

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Children. They grow fast. “You’re growing like a weed.” Remember when your grandmother used to say that to you?

Except. Weeds stop growing after awhile. We should change the saying to “You’re growing like a fir.”

Experts at Cal Poly estimate that a Douglas fir grows up to 24 inches a year. And a mature Douglas fir can reach 200 or 300 feet in the wild.

Don’t we want our children to be fir-like? Strong. Grounded. Beautiful. Healthy. Thriving.

…and home to grouse, nuthatches, warblers, squirrels, and chipmunks. 😉

Here’s a picture of my son. So tall that he doesn’t fit in the picture. I guess you’d say he’s growing like a fir.

Growing like a weed…so tall he doesn't fit in the picture. 😉

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"You're growing like a fir."

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Speculums and Pulling Taffy

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Advice, Health, Women | Posted on 28-03-2014

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Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Eyes and ears and breasts and vaginas

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes!

It’s been a month of check-ups, head to toe. And everything in between.

Had my nose and ears checked. Whew, no salmonella poisoning or brain tumor. Read more about that diagnosis here.

Had my lady parts checked out. You know, my bits and pieces. Vagina. Ovaries. Uterus. Cervix. All the good stuff. Speculum anyone?

Had my breasts checked for lumps and whatnot. That bi-annual mammogram was super fun. Like pulling taffy. Who knew that breasts could stretch. So. Far. And they went back to their original shape, just like Stretch Armstrong. “As you were.”

Next month, it’s the dentist. I can’t wait!

Go on, get your appointments made. You deserve to be healthy. Take care of yourselves, y’all!

Speculums are my favorite!

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Friends urge friends to get mammograms. We deserve healthy and happy breasts. Now, time to go bra shopping!

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Cauliflower Pizza That Doesn’t Suck

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Cooking, Health, Recipes | Posted on 21-03-2014

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If cauliflower is the new kale, then this pizza is the new yummy.

I can’t promise that your kids will eat this. I mean, have you smelled cauliflower cooking? The smell is enough to quit cooking altogether and call for pizza delivery.

But if you can brave the stench and can stand crust that’s a little soggy, then this is the pizza for you.

Like how I sold it so well? Hahaha! This pizza is cauliflowericious! And packed with fiber! Did you know that cauliflower is. One. Of. The. World’s Healthiest. Foods. Read here if you need nutrition details to sell you.

Ingredients for Crust

  • Head of cauliflower
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • garlic to taste
  • salt to taste
  • 2 packs of dried crushed red peppers (you know the packets you get from–ironically–pizza places?)
  • pesto sauce or tomato sauce
  • mozzarella cheese
  • fresh parmesan cheese
  • toppings (I used chopped green onions and sliced tomatoes)
Directions

  1. Chop and grate the cauliflower until it’s “flour like” (I used my Cuisinart to grate the crap out of it)
  2. Mix in the egg and spices
  3. Microwave for 6 minutes. That’s when you’ll smell the stench.
  4. Pre-heat the oven to 425 degrees.
  5. Put in a salad spinner if you have one. And spin the crap out of it. This gets a lot of the excess water out. Cauliflowers are juicy suckers!
  6. Grease a pizza stone or baking sheet with olive oil and parchment paper.
  7. Flatten the crust and bake at 425 degrees for at least 15 minutes.
  8. Top the crust with the sauce of your choice, cheese, and toppings.
  9. Bake about 15 minutes.

Enjoy! You are officially caulifloweramazing!

Best pizza-with-cauliflower-crust ever!

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Salmonella Poisoning?

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Baking, Childrearing, Cookies, Health, Humor, Little Story, Love, Mother | Posted on 14-03-2014

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Dizzy. Equilibrium off. Lack of appetite. Aching.

What could it be?

I know. It was probably salmonella poisoning from eating raw eggs from cookie dough. Yep, I knew it. I finally got it. After eating pounds and pounds of uncooked cookie dough over the years, I was due.

The symptoms continued for days. I talked to my friend who’s a nurse and admitted my dough overdose. She’s like nah. Are you dehydrated? Do you have stomach pains? Do you have diarrhea?

OK, so I Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a brain tumor. And it’s been growing there for three weeks, apparently. My husband’s like get your butt to the doctor.

So, he took me. On Valentine’s Day in fact. What love! (Not sure why I didn’t go to the doctor sooner. I mean, I take my kids the second they have a symptom.)

I did not have a brain tumor. Whew! I did not have salmonella poisoning. Whew!

Turns out I had merely a bilateral otitis media and sinutitus (double ear infection and sinus infection). What a tough cookie I am.

Happiness.

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How Do You Like Them Apples

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Food, Friends, Health, Weight, Women | Posted on 10-03-2014

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I know some fruit haters. Or maybe they are just plain haters.

For example, when striking up a conversation as I often do, I’ll blurt out “Yeah, I’m trying to eat more clean and reduce my sugar.”

And the other person answers, “You mean no fruit too, right?”

As if. They are orange haters and apple haters and blueberry haters.

Yeah no. I mean no Chips Ahoy and Skittles and Red Vines, you bitch.

I find nothing offensive about an apple. Do you?

In fact, according to this article, “the phytonutrients in apples can help you regulate your blood sugar. Recent research has shown that apple polyphenols can help prevent spikes in blood sugar through a variety of mechanisms…The polyphenols in apple have been shown to lessen absorption of glucose from the digestive tract; to stimulate the beta cells of the pancreas to secrete insulin; and to increase uptake of glucose from the blood via stimulation of insulin receptors.”

With 7,500 known varieties of apples and more than 69 million tons of apples grown worldwide, apples are kinda popular. Really, a perfect anytime snack. And they are excellent for juggling.

So how do you like them apples?

How do you like them apples?

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Mad juggling skills.

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The Pink Keds

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Breasts, Health | Posted on 23-10-2013

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I prided myself (like the sunshiny women on laundry detergent commercials) that I could get mud stains out of my daughter’s white soccer uniform.

I can get ground-in mud stains out of anything!

Soaking. Scrubbing. Just a touch of bleach.

Turns out that I not only got the stains out, but I made the red soccer logo pink. Ooops.

Reminds me of the time my father did a load of my laundry and washed reds and whites. Together! My beautiful white, canvas Keds shoes–you know, the kind you wore without socks–turned pink.

Pink logo. Pink shoes. Pink ribbon. Now, pink is all about breast cancer awareness. It’s wonderful to see so many athletes donning pink everything to help create awareness for a disease that affects and kills so many people. There are about 232,340 new cases of invasive breast cancer each year in the United States, according to the American Cancer Society. More stats and information can be found here.

Yet, there are many more types of cancer that don’t generate the awareness and the publicity of breast cancer.

Boobs = marketing.

Maybe the pink ribbon can help lead the way for generating awareness for other types of cancer.

I wish that getting rid of all cancer–breast, skin, prostate, lung, colon, rectal, bladder, leukemia, endometrial, thyroid, pancreatic, etc.–were as easy as getting rid of mud stains or turning white shoes pink.

Pink satin breast cancer awareness ribbon.  Casting natural shadow on white.

 

Threads of Life

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Children, Family, Health, Life, Parenting | Posted on 29-03-2013

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My grandmothers and great-grandmothers were quilters. I’m a fan. The colors. The craftsmanship. The history. The metaphor: the quilt representing life. Especially the crazy quilt. I read that while many quilts have a repeating pattern, the beauty of a crazy quilt lies in its differences. Remember the movie How to Make an American Quilt?

My youngest son had eye surgery two weeks ago. He had a lump on his eyelid that needed to be removed. Worried parents. Anesthesia. Hospital gown. IV. He was wheeled away down the long hospital hallway. Brave boy. I couldn’t hold back the tears.

An hour later, he  emerged from surgery, that brave boy of mine. With a patch on his eye, he looked small, but relieved. Three new stitches in his eyelid.

surgery

Two days of recovery at home. Then, back to school. Back to tumbling class. Back to normal life. Two weeks later, the stitches came out.

And we now have another block to sew into our quilt of life. Just with three less stitches.

crazyquilt

I spotted this beauty of a quilt here: http://www.nebraskahistory.org/sites/mnh/crazy_quilts/

 

I Hate Kale

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Food, Health, Nutrition, Personal Care | Posted on 14-09-2012

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I know, I know. Kale is the “queen of greens” because it is one one of the most nutritious vegetables in the world–packed with antioxidants and anti-inflammatory qualities–vitamin K, vitamin A, and vitamin C.

Yet, I hate it. Here is what I have to say about kale.

You do not like green kale and ham?

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not, with a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like green kale and ham!

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.