peskypippi.comBecause I have a lot to say…

Oh, Demi Moore. I liked you with chubbier cheeks. You are now a skeleton and did you know that Halloween is over?

Here’s one word for ya: EAT.

The media targets women with headlines that scream “she’s too fat,” with Kirstie Alley and Jessica Simpson getting the majority of these grocery store-line headlines. Kirstie has been the butt of a lot of jokes; as in check-out-her-big-butt. And while I secretly utter a mean little “ha ha,” I actually feel bad for these women. They are getting singled out for their size. Yo-yo dieting sucks. Thickening around the middle sucks. And to have your cellulite photographed in the most unflattering way? Or to have yourself photographed shoveling down Costco cake? I imagine that that also sucks. (More on Costco cake soon. I have an addiction.)

But the media also hits with the “wasting away: too skinny” headlines. I even saw one about “pin-thin Kate Middleton.” Pin-thin? I have never been described as a pin, nor would ever want to. These too-skinny Hollywood actresses have made this list in recent months: Katie Holmes, Kate Bosworth, LeAnn Rimes, Kate Middleton (OK, not from Hollywood, but she steals headlines), Nicole Richie.

Seems to me–or it is my experience anyway–that men do not want non-eating skeletons as girlfriends or wives. That most men prefer a partner who can partake in a heaping pile of nachos and throw back some beers. Instead of “no thanks, I’m on the cotton ball diet.” Have you heard of that one? Scary. See here for crazy-ass fad diets. But please don’t try them at home.

In Hollywood, as a woman, you’re screwed if you’re too fat. Or if you’re too skinny.

Women and mothers: Don’t wither away. Nourish yourselves. Eat.

My kids–who have a pretty good sense of healthy eating and exercise, but who also have been exposed to ideal body image in our American culture–say that I’m just right. And that’s OK for me.

Nachos and beer anyone?

I realize I’m a little late to the my-what-yellow-teeth-you-have-Miss-Lindsay party. That was soooo two weeks ago. For image-conscious starlets, yellow teeth simply are not an acceptable accessory. When I read the headline:

“Lindsay Lohan debuts newly-whitened teeth”

I thought, hmmm, white teeth on a Hollywood actress shouldn’t be making news. That’s the ol’ dog-bites-man headline = not news.

Check out the article; it’s for real.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/lindsay-lohan-debuts-newly-whitened-teeth-days-s-set-admit-probation-violation-article-1.969941#ixzz1ccahe2JH

In order for white-teeth-on-a-starlet to make news headlines, those chompers must have been way bad. So I did some sleuthing and Googled some stuff to see how bad Lindsay’s teeth looked. Yikes! Sweet Lindsay from The Parent Trap and Herbie Fully Loaded shouldn’t have yellow teeth. Check out this funny man-bites-dog headline and article about just that:

“Lindsay Lohan flashes smoke-stained yellow teeth on Hollywood red carpet”

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-10-13/gossip/30294012_1_fiore-films-kim-gotti-irwin-smigel

People get their teeth whitened every day. People have dental work done all the time. Glad that my trips to the dentist don’t make news headlines. Otherwise, you might read this:

“Cavity Suspected, Yet Dentist Appointment Reveals A Simple Case of Over Brushing”

Yep, turns out I was just brushing too hard. Hey, you can’t blame me for making my chompers white.