peskypippi.comBecause I have a lot to say…

I love to buy different shampoos and conditioners. You know, get a little crazy. Mix it up. I have tried hair products with the following:

• Acai berry
• Avocado
• Wheat germ
• Coconut
• Peach
• Mango
• Green Tea
• Tea Leaves
• Olive oil
• Shea butter
• Rosemary
• Aloe
• Bergamot
• Orange
• Lemon
• Lime
• Marshmallow root
• Lavender
• Rose oil
• Ginger
• Strawberry
• Thyme
• Antioxidants

My latest purchase is by Organix with acai berry avocado. How the heck do say acai anyway…is it “uh-sah-ee” or “a-k-eye?” Bless you (did you just sneeze?) This fine shampoo can be found in the best of hair salons…such as Safeway.

For $4.99. Psych.

I guess I am just a sucker for shampoos with such yummy smells and ingredients.

My hair is eats better that I do. And sometimes, I don’t know whether to shampoo or to sample.

I have got to clean out my closet. Today. I am not a hoarder (and oh, by the way, the A&E show Hoarders scares the freaking crap out of me).

Yikes refers to my taste in clothes. When I take a peek in my closet, I see I have made some poor purchasing decisions.

I have heard that you should keep the clothes you really love and the others: give away to charity. Looking through my closet, there’s not really much to love. I am feeling very generous today.

• What was I thinking when I purchased my tacky-ass-print-stretchy top with the capped sleeves? Did I think that the print would help camouflage some of the heft in the mid-section? Yes. Did I think capped sleeves are truly flattering? Yes. Wrong on both.
• What about Capri pants, cropped mid-calf? Fashion guides tell us that Capri pants are not flattering because they visually crop your leg, making your legs look stumpy. We need to elongate our legs; so next Spring, boycott those Capri pants that are on sale everywhere!
• How about the baby doll tops that I have purchased? So ugly, definitely not fit for a baby.
• Shoes? I’m good at buying shoes. They are not my problem. I own about 14 pairs. And most of them are sneakers. Oh and two pairs of boots.

It’s the outfits. I struggle with matching tops to bottoms.

Running late for work, what to wear? Quick, grab low-waisted, hip slacks and a button-down shirt. A working woman’s go-to uniform. Craptastic: the buttons are gaping open. Lately, I’ve started buying all grey clothing for work. Grey goes with black goes with white goes with navy. It’s like Garanimals.

And, then there the: how long should I save my clothes—you know, the ones that I-need-to-lose-10-lbs.-in-order-to-fit-in-these-clothes clothes? I save those. But if I need to lose more than 10 lbs., which I do, well, those clothes could be sitting around awhile. So off to Goodwill they will go. If I lose 20 lbs., I’m goin’ shopping!

Recycling. Just hoping there’s a woman out there who has worse taste than me. Because if there is, today is her lucky day.

I realize I’m a little late to the my-what-yellow-teeth-you-have-Miss-Lindsay party. That was soooo two weeks ago. For image-conscious starlets, yellow teeth simply are not an acceptable accessory. When I read the headline:

“Lindsay Lohan debuts newly-whitened teeth”

I thought, hmmm, white teeth on a Hollywood actress shouldn’t be making news. That’s the ol’ dog-bites-man headline = not news.

Check out the article; it’s for real.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/lindsay-lohan-debuts-newly-whitened-teeth-days-s-set-admit-probation-violation-article-1.969941#ixzz1ccahe2JH

In order for white-teeth-on-a-starlet to make news headlines, those chompers must have been way bad. So I did some sleuthing and Googled some stuff to see how bad Lindsay’s teeth looked. Yikes! Sweet Lindsay from The Parent Trap and Herbie Fully Loaded shouldn’t have yellow teeth. Check out this funny man-bites-dog headline and article about just that:

“Lindsay Lohan flashes smoke-stained yellow teeth on Hollywood red carpet”

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-10-13/gossip/30294012_1_fiore-films-kim-gotti-irwin-smigel

People get their teeth whitened every day. People have dental work done all the time. Glad that my trips to the dentist don’t make news headlines. Otherwise, you might read this:

“Cavity Suspected, Yet Dentist Appointment Reveals A Simple Case of Over Brushing”

Yep, turns out I was just brushing too hard. Hey, you can’t blame me for making my chompers white.

When I have a spare few minutes here and there, I find myself making a dash to my magnifying mirror and my trusty pair of tweezers. My brand of choice is Tweezerman. (“The choice of make-up artists, models, and celebrities.”) It seems every other day, baby eyebrow hairs stand at attention–out of place. They stare at me and say, “pluck me” if you dare. Oh I dare.

I try to keep my brows well-groomed. It’s one of my many quirks. But not too arched or too thin. My Mom always cautioned, “Don’t over pluck or they may never grow back!”

Oh and then there’s the hairs–you know, whiskers–growing out of the chin. Hello?? Sprouting chin whiskers? And they are coarse. And they shine in the sun. They don’t really go with the image I’m going for. Know what I mean?

Reminds me of this kooky, old woman I used to see at storytime at the library. She had a chin hair so long that it needed a scrunchy.

May you never need a scrunchy for the hair on your chinny chin chin.