I Am the Vomit Ninja


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Children, Humor, Memories, Mother, Mothering, Mothers and Sons | Posted on 25-04-2013

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Clean up on aisle three!

Actually it was the middle lane of the freeway, as we were cruising en route to the tulip fields.

Then, I heard the five words you don’t really want to hear when you’re cruising en route to the tulip fields.

Mom. I. Just. Threw. Up.

Quick. Time to use my Mom instincts. Otherwise known as vomit ninja instincts. I think my eight-year-old son was a little shocked at my lightning-fast skills. Especially, as I only had one baby wipe left and no “just-in-case outfit” packed. I was kinda done hauling around back-up clothes for my kids. Oops.

Here’s what transpired, in like 4 seconds:

  1. We pulled off at the next exit and came to a screeching stop. Well, whaddya know. The next exit happened to be a rest stop.
  2. I rolled down the windows before the warm stench filled the air, causing everyone to gag.
  3. I lept out of the car and undid my son’s seatbelt–carefully and swiftly–so as not to propel bits of whatnot everywhere.
  4. I used the one baby wipe to scoop off the excess and lifted him out of the car to remove his t-shirt (and promptly threw it in the trash).
  5. We went to the bathroom to wash off with cold water, paper towels, and no soap.
  6. Bought him a Sprite at the vending machine.
  7. And bam. We were back on the freeway, with a stopover at Walmart, where we bought him a new t-shirt and shorts, hand sanitizer, and wipes.

With his tummy feeling better, we made it to the tulip field and ended up having a lovely afternoon.

My son scored a new outfit. And I scored a new title, Vomit Ninja, as he took this photo of me (looking a little bit powerful, I must say).

Mission accomplished.


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Comments (6)

You and your children are just too stinking cute, lady!! Oh and where did you get those shoes? They look almost big enough to fit my youngest daughter, Sasquatch.

Thank goodness you were there to help, because those are mighty big shoes to fill, Vomit Ninja!

I borrowed them from the tulip farm. We Mommas have big shoes to fill, eh?

Some days, I need pants big enough to match those Sasquatch shoes. Bloated. Ha!

Indeed. Happy to help out the lil’ guy. But next time, I’ll pack my gas mask.


Pesky Pippi the Vomit Ninja Legend!

Whoa! That’s quite a title!

I’m trademarking that!

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