I Fell in Love…with Stretch Armstrong


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childhood, Humor, Memories, Nostalgia | Posted on 24-03-2013

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It happened like this.

My sister and I were playing at our cousins’ house one afternoon. The house had a basement filled with wonderment! Chock-full of toys–boy toys–I had never been exposed to. Cars to race. Guns to shoot. Men to stretch.

I fell in love. With Stretch Armstrong.

He was one hunk of a hunk. Muscled. Tan. Blonde. Wearing only black underwear. And he was stretchy.

You could pull his arms and legs. At the same time! You could squeeze him. Pinch him. Twist him. Made of latex rubber and filled with gel, Stretch Armstrong would retain his newly formed shape for a short time before returning back to his original state.

This was the best toy ever!

And then. When my cousin left the room, I couldn’t resist. I took a bite out of Stretch Armstrong’s chest.

Goo started oozing. Red goo. Again, I could’t resist. I tasted it.┬áIt was sweet, like raspberry jam.

My younger sister looked at me in horror. As in, “you killed him.”

Quickly I hid Stretch Armstrong under a pillow. And I made her swear not to tell. We went on with our playing, as if nothing happened.

And then poor Stretch Armstrong was left to die a slow, bloody death, under a pillow.



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Comments (2)

WHAT? What came out of him? I had to laugh thinking of this…there are no toys our children play with today that would ever ooze anything if they took a bite out of it.

Yep! I googled it and apparently, Stretch Armstrong was made out of corn syrup. Several people tweeted me that they sliced him open because they were curious. Maybe that’s why Stretch Armstrong isn’t on the market anymore?


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