Balls, Forgotten Manners, and A Baked Potato On the Floor

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Humor, Life Lessons, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 21-08-2012

Tags: , , , , , , ,

My Dad, my two kids, and me. At an all-you-can-eat buffet-style restaurant for lunch. Salad? Soup? Muffins? Macaroni and cheese? Jello? Yeah, all that is included.

Manners? Not included.

My Dad didn’t know that he was in for a surprise. I mean, these things aren’t planned. They just happen.

Like how my daughter’s loaded baked potato rolled onto the floor. Splat. And how my son announced that he ate something that “sucked balls.” And how he proceeded to eat his bowl of soft-serve ice cream with his face. No spoon. And described how he saw a picture in the Guinness Book of World Records of a woman with boobies the size of watermelons. Yeah that.

Did Grandpa just cringe?

Who’s hooligans were these children? Who taught these hooligans manners?

I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it was like a scene from Parenthood. I love when Grandma describes the roller coaster as a metaphor for life. Thus, I proudly claim these hooligans as my hooligans.

With their zest. Giggles. Naughtiness. Looseness. Their (sometimes) lack of manners.

For some reason, I didn’t need to seek my Dad’s approval of my parenting skills (or lack of parenting skills). Because sometimes while on this roller coaster, you forget to parent. Or you just don’t want to.

At the table, my Dad averted his eyes, choosing not to claim this group (mother included).

Check please.

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Comments (38)

Oh, I’m so glad my kids are not the only ones who resort to caveman manners in the presence of a grandparent. I swear, my kids act the worst when Grandma or Grandpa is around to witness it.

I’ve been there. I think anyone with kids knows it’s a toss up to whether the children will be behaved or not. I’ve had the compliments from strangers “Oh wow your kids are such a delight and so well behaved” to the stares, gawks and whisperings as my son is diving under the table and my daughter is screaming because he looked at her mean. Yes. Hooligans, but you are right. They are our hooligans!

“Sometimes while you’re on this roller coaster, you forget to parent” —> oh yes, we do! Loved this one. And the “splat” of that baked potato!

I love that scene from Parenthood. Steve Martin rocks, and this piece is funny. Sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh. I would have died if my kid said “sucks balls” but then I just taught my neighbor’s 5yo not to say Son of a B. He had no idea what he was saying. Ha! Erin

Ha! Your poor Dad 🙂

When my kids were smaller and we’d go places like this, we used to leave a huge tip to compensate for the giant mess!

“Sucked balls”! Ha! I don’t think I would’ve been able to control my laughter at that table!

Sucked balls – that is awesome. Unless, of course, it was my kid saying it in front of my dad 🙂

Hahahah your kids crack me up. The poor baked potato.

Good for you. Sometimes you just don’t want to crack that whip. And you ought to be allowed that respite. In a short post you conveyed the scene well, dialog, emotion and baked potatoes.

Same here! I think my kids think “time to put on a show!”

XO,
Pippi

Sometimes I throw back my head and laugh and sometimes I want to join the potato on the floor, under the table. 🙂

XO,
Pippi

Thank you! I think parents need a break from parenting, don’t you?

Thanks for writing!
Pippi

Yeah, I love that movie…especially now as a parent. I have a 13yo who teaches all kinds of lovely phrases to my 7yo. Yikes!

Thanks for your comment,
Pippi

Yeah, he got an earful!

Big tips = coolness!

XO,
Pippi

You and me both!

XO,
Pippi

What was uncomfortable at the time is now totally funny to me. Especially when I visualize the roller coaster!

Thanks for the smile,
Pippi

I know! For once, it was the only thing on the floor!

XO,
Pippi

Please tell me he did not really say it “sucked balls”…

I love your kids.

Ha! He really did say it “sucked balls.” But I didn’t mention that was after my daughter said, “it tastes like balls.”

The mouths of these babes!

XO,
Pippi

Thank you for your nice comment!

Smiling over here,
Pippi

Your son saying sucked balls was pretty funny. One of those things that is a great story when your friends tell it to you, but mortifying when your own child says it.

I liked this. And not just because I always like reassuring stories where other people’s kids do bad stuff.

I especially liked the bit about “forgetting to parent or perhaps not wanting to.” So true. Sometimes you just have to enjoy the ride. Nice post!

I loved this. Most parents can relate to this these days. My teenager recently went to college. The last few months at home I would ask, “You know how to eat properly right? Like if a girl asks you to eat with her family you would know what to do?” Rather than sit with elbows on table, hunched over shoveling food in your mouth. ugh.

Ha! Sadly, he has said this before. But not quite so loud and in front of an aged family member!

Thanks for writing!
Pippi

Thank you! Yeah, I just didn’t want to intervene this time. 🙂

Thanks for commenting!
Pippi

You bring up some great points! Do our children know how to act and have basic manners when we are not around? I was just thinking about this…perplexing. 🙂

Thanks for sharing!
Pippi

My kids totally turn into monkeys when my parents are around. I just shake my head and shrug and say, “I don’t know whose kids these are, do you?”

Holy crap! I nearly bust a gut when your son said “sucked balls.” Bahaha!

My own dad was a stickler for manners, but I am blessed (sometimes cursed) with a father-in-law whom we lovingly refer to as Homer Simpson. He probably would have laughed too.

Oh how i’ve been there! LOL! My kids say something “Sucks donkey balls” because that’s what my husband says all the time.

We all need a break sometimes. Hey! Free entertainment for grandpa!

Sometimes that’s about all you can do!

XO,
Pippi

My Dad is a stickler for manners too and he visits but once a year!

Maybe that’s why my house resembles The Simpsons. 🙂

Thanks for writing!
Pippi

hahaha- balls
Your kids sound awesome!!

Haha! That’s even better!

What a lovely visual!
Pippi

Good point!

XO,
Pippi

Yummy! Sounds like a wild ride!

That is too funny! I dread the day my son starts talking like I do. Especially since I say things suck balls all the time.

You know he will!

And I’ll read your post when you write about it!
Pippi

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