You Can Paint A Turd, But It’s Still a Turd


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Beauty, Humor, Me Time, Mothers and Daughters | Posted on 22-07-2012

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I was excited to receive a $100 gift card to a local spa. Ah, $100…I’ll get a massage, a pedicure, a manicure, maybe even a facial!

Uh, no. This spa was fancy-schmancy. One hundred dollars bought one pedicure. Or two “mini pedicures” for my mini me and me. I brought my daughter along for a girls’ day.

The waiting room was a meditation room. Bamboo. Candles. Orchids. Buddhas. A trickling fountain. Hot tea.

At least the hot tea was free. My daughter and I gulped down three cups each.

Two blond women in black smocks tiptoed in and led us through a dark hallways. Their feet were silent. White women with blond hair were gonna do our pedicures. Did you catch that?

The foot baths, lined with rocks, were piping hot. We each got a brief foot massage and basic nail care. “Bliss” pink polish for me. Blood red for my daughter.

  • I asked, “Are you planning to scrape off some of the callouses and the rough skin?”
  • “No,” she answered. “That’s not part of the mini pedicure.”

What?! My feet got robbed!

You know the saying…how you can paint a turd, but it’s still a turd? It’s even worse when you pay double for a turd paint job.

I have the prettiest, painted toe nails on the ugliest calloused feet. If it hadn’t been for that gift card, $100 could have bought a new pair of Adidas to cover these suckers up.

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Comments (21)

That is unbelievable! Your feet totally got ripped off. I actually have the best feet ever…seriously. They are my pride and joy. I don’t have much going for me, but I have that…

It’s been so long since I’ve been to a spa! When I was working I’d go to the “holy heck they just sucked my wallet and my bunghole dry” to help with stress. I paid for the 50 minute facial or massage, but stay for 3 or four hours to utilize their hot tubs, sauna, showers, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, mouthwash, lotions, etc. etc… Oh, and it’s the only place where I’d abide by the direction on the back of shampoo bottles…I’d actually “repeat”.
I made sure I got my money’s worth!

It certainly looks like a turd. It’s blackness worries me the dog has gastric bleeding. If it smells bad it’s melaena.

You could totally be a foot model!

Tweet about your feet and you’ll get some, uh, interesting followers!

I’m with you!

A spa day sounds like bliss. But I am kinda cheap to cough up the money. If I was given a gift card though…



That’s all I can say. You crack me up!

Funny post Pip! but I’m sure your feet look a little nicer than poo 🙂

Ha! Well, OK, a little.


At least you got to share it with mini-me, right?
Ahhh, nothing like a day at the Spa. I haven’t been in forever, but have very fond memories of the Spa at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas 🙂

I went to a spa with a $100 gift card this past weekend. I got a 45 minute massage and a haircut. Guess my spa wasn’t as fancy as yours, but I’ll take it. Your feet got screwed.

That was the big plus…sharing with mini-me. It was nice to have hot tea and sit quietly together for a few minutes before our non-pedicure. 🙂

I have been to the MGM Grand in LV but not the spa. Bet it was blissful!

That sounds like money well spent!

I’m thinking I should’ve bought $100 in candles at the gift shop instead. Ha!

Oh you are so funny!
I am glad that you got to spend some quality time with your little, but yeah… that was a total rip off!

I don’t go to the fancy places anymore. The $25 place in the malls always gets the yucky stuff off!!!

Maybe there were gold flecks in the polish? Pure gold? Out of spite, I should take my hooves on down there and let them have a go. They’ll see the cracks and callouses and disintegrate on the spot. HA!

Yep, it must’ve been gold in the sparkles. I am NEVER taking this polish off again!


I agree. I will go to the strip mall places next time. And get the sloughing!

Thanks for writing!

I went to get a pedicure when i was hugely prego and it was too fancy for me. I have issues with ppl touching my feet to begin with but when she didn’t speak to me the entire time? Beyond uncomfortable. Never went back.

I need some callous removal, too. Happens every summer when I start wearing flip-flops again.

Maybe we can get a 2-for-1 deal?

It IS uncomfortable when they don’t speak to you. Especially when they speak in Vietnamese. #lostintranslation


Great idea!

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