If You Give Your Hair Vegan Shampoo…


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Attitude, Beauty, Humor, Pop Culture | Posted on 16-07-2012

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I bought vegan shampoo on accident. Whoa! My hair got all demanding on me, like the mouse in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. In fact, my hair turned righteous. Here’s what happened.

If you give your hair vegan shampoo,

She will demand vegan conditioner.

When you smooth on vegan conditioner,

She will want an Egyptian cotton towel to dry.

When you rummage around to look for an Egyptian cotton towel,

She will ask if you washed the towel with a low-water washing machine.

When you tell her you washed it with a low-water washing machine,

She will say it’s time to go shopping via bicycle, with no emissions.

After you bike to Whole Foods with your freshly-washed hair,

She’ll demand you use your recyclable bag to buy organic berries from local farmers.

After you buy organic berries from local farmers, she’ll insist on buying some antibiotic-free chicken.

When you buy her some chicken, she’ll remind you that she is a vegan and only uses vegan shampoo.

And she will demand vegan conditioner to go along with it.

Sheesh! Whatever happened to plain old milk-and-honey shampoo? #simplertimes


I’m hanging out at Yeah Write with other cool bloggers, with my shiny hair. How about you?

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

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Comments (18)

That is hilarious!
I didn’t even know there was something like vegan shampoo.
But that’s probably because I’m the only one left still drinking actual dairy and eating gluten 😉

Nice post!

Ha, thanks! I have to say, I think my hair needs some dairy and gluten and meat in it. The shampoo sucked!

Thanks for making me smile!

I love this!!! Story of my life!!!
It all happens sort of accidentally. However, I’m not vegan. I need my meat (just a couple times a week, but I do).

Oh, funny! One of my twins is a baby who puts everything she eats in her hair. I think she’s just experimenting to find a new beauty regimen…

Hilarious. Cut that hair off! Well…

Thanks! I’m not vegan either. I love dairy and poultry.

Thanks for writing!

Ha! I will probably buy her invention down the line. #CheeriosApplesauceFruitSnackShampoo #futureasachemist


And donate it to Locks of Love?

Great idea!

Funny! Guess you have politically correct hair now! Wish I could read the kids’ book you based this on.

Yeah, my hair is now politically correct! I’ve got that going for me…


Ha, this is so funny! I love If You Give A Mouse A Cookie! It’s right up there with Goodnight Moon for me.

Your comment about the shampoo reminds me of when I was a kid and on vacation we had to wash our hair in the river with biodegradable shampoo and it sucked.

Just say no and go back to your milk-and-honey shampoo. And, maybe add a dash of meat for good measure 😉

Hahaha, oh I liked this so very much!
You are so funny.
Great post!

Indeed! This shampoo SUCKED. And whew, the political correct-attitude my hair gave me? Yikes!

Thanks for the smile,

Thanks, Sweetie!


Such a funny post, Pippi!

Thank you, glad you liked it!

Now that I actually have hair, I’ll have to try it.

Watch out…your hair may get demanding!


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