I Think People Don’t Really Wanna Know…

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Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Attitude, Communication, Connections, Relationships | Posted on 12-07-2012

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Sometimes I think people don’t really wanna care what you have to say…take a few basic-conversation questions:

  1. How was your vacation?
  2. How is work going for you?
  3. How are the kids?

Does the other person really want to know about your vacation? That you had potato skins as an appetizer, that your hotel comforter was comfy, and that you had perfect weather? No.

Does the other person really want to know about your work? That you’re working too many hours, that your deadlines are crazy, and your boss is cranky? No.

Does the other person really want to know about your kids? That one child had an eye infection, one got a B+ in science, and the other skipped to the next level in swimming? No.

I think people are so entrenched in their own lives that they don’t really want to hear much of anything care about the other person. What they really wanna hear is simply:

  1. How was your vacation? Great!
  2. How is work going for you? Busy!
  3. How are the kids? Happy!

And…you’re done. No time for details. No interest in two-way conversations. Where did the empathy go? It’s now sometimes more like a check-off-your-list: did I ask and did they answer? Check.

I think some people have forgotten their manners. Forgotten how to converse. Forgotten how to listen. Forgotten to care.

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Comments (10)

I totally agree and that’s why I have really started to try VERY hard to listening to responses. I always thought that I did, but when I gave it a good think – knew that I did not give people the sincere attention they deserve back. Might not change how people react to the same type of questions they ask me but it’s a start. Ask questions that you want to be answered and listen to those answers. You’ll learn something about them and probably something about yourself!

Agreed. I would say more but I don’t know if you really wanna know….hahahahaha

Not me! Tell me all about it. If I didn’t want to know I simply wouldn’t ask.

I think listening (really listening) requires patience. I lack patience a lot of the time. I am trying to do better at both.

And for the times I don’t really listen but say “uh huh” “huh” and “yeah,” I guess I don’t really care too much either.

Maybe it’s care more and listen more to those people you truly care about, huh?

Thanks for your comment!
Pippi

But, see, I DO care about what YOU have to say. Because I like you. 🙂

XO,
Pippi

You don’t ask questions just to be nice? Maybe I need to stop being so nice. Haha!

XO,
Pippi

I had to read this a second time. I couldn’t agree with you more. Love that post-it, too. You already read my list of 25 so you know about my New Year’s resolution to send REAL cards in the mail instead of a FB “HBD”. We need to keep it real, people.

It’s a good thing we can find new people to be real with. Even if it’s not the people we think should care.

Thanks for caring!
Pippi

Love this! Listening to people was not one of my strengths – I love the image because that is exactly what I was doing… waiting to speak. I am making conscious efforts of late to really listen to people and it takes work! It is hard to be in the moment and not think ahead. I hope it gets easier with practice. 🙂

I am trying to be a better listener too. I think you’re right, you have to be in the moment. And be patient. Patience = not one of my strengths.

Let’s DO this thing called listening! 🙂
Pippi

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