When it Comes To Star Wars, I am Retarded


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Kids, Memories, Mother, Movies, Parenting, Pop Culture | Posted on 02-07-2012

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When it comes to Star Wars trivia, I am not the the brightest star in the galaxy. In fact, I am sort of retarded. If there were CliffsNotes, I would get them. Just to keep up with my seven-year-old son.

I first saw Star Wars at the movie theater when I was eight years old. When I tell my son that I know about the first Star Wars, my young son will correct me and say, “No, MOM, it’s not the FIRST Star Wars, it’s episode IV: A New Hope.”


When you start messing with chronology and prequels, you lose me. You had me at Clone Troopers, Boba Fett, Jango Fett, General Grievous, Count Dooku. And Anakin. Who IS this kid?

If I had to write an essay on the Star Wars storyline and how these characters interact, I would pee my Jedi briefs. I just don’t get it. And I’m a pretty smart cookie.

I mean, I know Chewbacca C-3PO, R2-D2, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, Jabba the Hut, Princess Leia, Storm Troopers, Yoda. You could quiz me. I even know the Millenium Falcon and the Death Star.

Dude! When I was a kid, C-3PO and R2-D2 did a Public Service Announcement about immunize-your-children-against-Whooping-Cough. Whooping Cough?! Yeah that. Now I sound as if I’m as old as Yoda.

Then there’s the Wookies, Ewoks, even Jar Jar Binks (doesn’t he sound like Dobby in Harry Potter?) I know them!

I am the mother to three children who happen to love this sextiology. My youngest son will talk for hours straight about Boba and Jango. I nod and smile as if I totally get it. (I don’t have a clue.)

But I’ll buy the Lego Star Wars game on Xbox 360, light sabers, the Clone Trooper Halloween costume, the Lego sets, the Yoda jammies, toothbrushes. Regardless of my Star Wars retardation, I DO have a clue about consumerism and merchandising. I get that.

Set “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

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Comments (8)

You are doing better than me! I have failed to stay awake for a whole star wars film and am dreading my boys getting into it!

In your defense, when Star Wars came out…there was no Episode IV: A New Hope. That was added later. And really, the first three episodes blow. They totally bunted when thrown the pitch. Jerks.

If you’d like to make your kids melt…you could enter my giveaway. It’s on my site. (It’s Star Wars based.)

It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of the basics… the rest you just have to smile and nod through. 🙂

Haha! Just nod and smile. And buy them crap. You’ll be their hero!

Thanks for writing!

I liked when it was just simple. #oldfuddyduddy

And do you mean the first three episodes or the last three? SEE what I mean?! “=_

Oooh, we’ll enter your giveaway. Cool!



Thanks for writing!

ONLY the first 3 – the ORIGINAL 3 count. The rest is just marketing. There is no soul. Tell your son I said so. Pttth.


Right! The original 3. I will tell him you said so. So there.

Thanks for making me smile!

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