Are You An Asshole?


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Advice, Children, Kids, Life Lessons, Relationships | Posted on 22-06-2012

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In other words, are you a shatterer-of-dreams? How you react to and answer other people may be telling.

Take some of these questions my kids asked me this week. If you answer #2, you just might be an asshole.

Do clouds taste like cotton candy?

  1. Yes. And I bet rainbows taste like fruity cotton candy. Yum!
  2. No. Cloud are made out of water molecules. Not sugar and air.

Are fairies real?

  1. Yes. I hope that someday soon, I can have a tea party with a fairy under a toadstool.
  2. No. Fairies are fake.

I’m going to marry ice cream. Are you?

  1. Yes. I will marry mint chocolate chip.
  2. What a stupid question. I am already married to your father.

If I were rich, I’d buy all the Legos in the world.

  1. That is so cool! I love Legos!
  2. Once you hit 13, you will probably be sick of Legos.

Or take some of these statements I have made recently. Again, if you answer #2, you know the drill.

I’m going to start selling my famous banana bread online.

  1. That’s a great idea! Your banana bread is delicious.
  2. That sounds like a lot of work. And you won’t make much money.

It’s always been a dream of mine to open a pie shop. I could call it Pippi’s Pie Shop.

  1. How fun! I would totally visit. I love pecan pie.
  2. Don’t quit your day job. Restaurants always fail.

 I just got a puppy!

  1. I can’t wait to meet him!
  2. What were you thinking?!

I love convertibles. Someday, I’ll buy a bright, cheery yellow one.

  1. When you get one, let’s go for a ride!
  2. How stupid is that? You live where it rains nine months out of the year.

With your asshole-like responses, you just might be shattering the other person’s dreams or wishes. Instead, how about a slice of dreamy pie, with a side of cloud?

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Comments (10)

Oh, *that* kind of asshole. No, no I’m not. Who said that crap to you? Jerkfaces.

Yeah, the shatterer-of-dreams asshole. I didn’t think so. 🙂

You’d be surprised how many “nice” people say so much crap.

Thanks for writing!

I agree with U some people just don’t get it. I liked all the number one answers.

You’re #1 in my book. 🙂


Now do one on the shatterers of truth: “my daughter is unhappy at school” – “no she’s fine, she’s always smiling when I see her…”

Wow. I’m an asshole! Except for the puppy one. I love puppies. And pie.

I bet you’re just saying that!

At least you made me laugh…would you come to my pie shop?

I should do one on that…great idea.

Thanks for your comment!

Assholes probably call me an asshole for being a #1 all the way.

Me too! At least no one will call us shatterers-of-dreams.


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