Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Celebrations, Food, Humor, Marriage, Memories, Relationships | Posted on 24-05-2012
Tags: date night, dinner, gourmet, restaurant
Never look a gift
horse card in the mouth.
Someone gave my husband a $100 gift card to fancy schmancy restaurant. Not a chain restaurant. And definitely a no-kids-menu restaurant.
It was a teensy tiny place with white table cloths and candles. With a menu written in calligraphy.
Date night! We had big plans of ordering tons of drinks. Tons of apps. Tons of food. Tons of dessert.
I even wore something with a little elastic around the waist to account for expansion.
But whaddya know. After scanning the menu–gulp–prices were so high, our visions of drinks and apps sorta dissipated. Even with the $100 gift card.
“We’re fine with water,” I told the waiter.
I ordered the mushroom ravioli with cream sauce. And my husband ordered the chicken with pesto and pine nuts.
No apps. No extra drinks. Face it. We’re kinda cheap when it comes to restaurants. I mean, we’ll spring on beers and a pile of nachos as big as your Grandfather’s Chevy any day.
What can I say? I like big food. (I also like Sir Mix-a-Lot’s I Like Big Butts song…)
The salads arrived. Nothing special. Just your typical grass-and-weed mix. Crunch. Crunch.
I’m not kidding you. I thought I ordered RAVIOLIS. As in a huge pile of them. I felt like the giant in Jack and The Beanstalk eating a pea. What is UP with the ginormous plate and the itty-bitty food that cost as much as my winter parka
Do you take your knife and fork and slice up the one freaking ravioli?
And you won’t catch me offering, “Here honey, try some of mine.”
My husband’s meal was just as comical. He’s a big guy. Like NFL-quarterback big. You can’t fool him with the sauce drizzled in a spirograph pattern, creating an optical illusion.
We finished our
dinner snack in about 8 minutes. Taking little bites and drinking lots of water.
The check came. That was that. We shelled out $20 of our OWN money for a tip. And left with our tummies grumbling.
Then we hightailed it Burger King for dinner #2.
giant plants. small portions. kaching.