No Time For Slow-Ass Sloths


Posted by peskypippi | Posted in Childrearing, Children, Kids, Kitchen, Life Lessons, Mothering, Parenting | Posted on 29-01-2012

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This Honey Badger Mama has no time for Slow-Ass Sloths in our morning routine. This year at Pippi’s house, we’ve been trying hard to be on time for school. That means cramming in all of our duties and getting out the door five minutes earlier. Get up earlier, you say? No way. (If you have never heard of a honey badger, then check out my favorite LOL YouTube videos post.)

You know the morning drill, don’t you?

I wake up the sleeping kids. And they don’t want to be woken up. Beware those grumpy honey badgers!

I make and feed the kids protein-packed breakfasts. While they eat breakfast, I make their brown bag lunches consisting of tuna sandwiches, chocolate milk, apples, yogurt, and granola bars.

I sign homework. Then proceed to yell, as all Honey Badger Mamas do. “Time to brush your teeth!” “Hurry!” “Backpacks and coats and shoes!” “Get into the car!” “Now!”

And, man, do they move slowly. Kinda like slow-ass sloths:

No time for slow-ass sloths! We’re late for the bus!

But underneath tough Honey Badger Mama exterior, is a softie.  Here are three reasons why we were late to school this week. All valid excuses, IMHHBMO (in my humble Honey Badger Mama opinion):

  • Excuse #1: Earrings wouldn’t go in. My nine-year-old daughter got her ears pierced last fall and we are still struggling with getting the earrings to go IN. And being a young woman, earrings are now a must-have accessory and one cannot show up to third grade wearing the same earrings two days in a ROW.
  • Excuse #2: Dental hygiene. I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to brush my kids’ teeth FOR them in lieu of all the hollering and battling. For goodness sake, brush your honey badger teeth. I’m not asking, I’m demanding.
  • Excuse #2: Honey Badger Mama overslept. Whoopsidaisy. Sometimes, this just happens. Enough said.

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Comments (2)

You got a problem with sloths? Huh? Huh? Shall we take this outside? You go on out, I’ll be there in a minute. *yawn* 😉

Only during the morning school rush. Other than that, sloths are A-OK. 🙂


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